While many women suffer criticism for not wanting to become pregnant, others become the target of judgment and prejudice during their pregnancy. Comments and questions that may seem innocent to you and simple expressions of curiosity can make the pregnant woman feel uncomfortable, embarrassed or offended.
Even well-meaning comments can turn into a negative experience for the pregnant woman. Fátima Aparecida, now the mother of two girls, still painfully recalls a few lines she heard during her first pregnancy, complicated by the discovery of a fibroid in the womb.
"The worst feeling in the world was hearing people say they expected my daughter to be born normal," says Fatima. Going through this for the first time and already worried about the baby's health due to pregnancy complications, did these comments make her even more restless and stressed? the opposite of medical recommendations, which were rest and tranquility. The child was born in good health and the second pregnancy passed without any special complexity, but these moments are still strong marks in the memory of the mother.
Pregnancy can be a wonderful phase and you can also collaborate with it. Check out our list for some comments and questions that may be unpleasant and should be avoided.
1. Was it planned?
The answer to this question has nothing to do with how the pregnant woman is feeling about pregnancy. After all, an unplanned pregnancy can bring as much happiness as one that has been long awaited.
Also read: 10 Pranks for Baby Shower
2.? Can I touch your belly ??
While some women don't mind, others may be very uncomfortable with other people touching their belly. Each one knows how she feels better about her own body, and if the pregnant woman wants to share a movement of the baby with you, she will make the invitation herself.
3. Are you sure they are not twins?
Each body type reacts in a way to pregnancy. Asking if the woman is right about the number of babies she is giving suggests that you think she is large? too much for a single baby.
4. Do you know who the father is?
Regardless of the answer, this is an embarrassing question. The pregnant woman's marital status matters little, questions about parenting are intrusive and can be offensive.
5.? One more child? What courage !?
While you may find it brave to have more than one child, other people may dream of three, five, ten. Ideal for you is not ideal for everyone and respect is always necessary.
6. "Aren't you too old to have a child?"
The right time to get pregnant concerns the pregnant woman. You don't know the reasons why you became pregnant at that time, and whatever the reason, such questions can make you uncomfortable and worried about your health and the health of your baby.
Also read: 5 Common Fears In Pregnancy
7. Don't you think too early to get pregnant again?
Mothers who become pregnant shortly after the birth of a child may be asked questions like this. The interval between childbirth is personal, and questioning whether or not the pregnancy came at a good time will only cause embarrassment.
8. Are you sure this is what you want?
Whether the pregnant woman is completely happy with the pregnancy or anxious and doubtful doesn't matter: questioning whether she is certain that pregnancy is best for her only creates an unpleasant sense of judgment.
9. Take advantage now because once you get out of your belly it will be worse!
Caring for a child is hard work and requires dedication, but that does not mean that life after the baby's birth will become "worse".
10. Hope the baby is normal.
There is nothing wrong with hoping for the baby to be healthy. But depending on how you say it, it may seem that there is some specific reason why health is questionable or that the child is less welcome if he is not born healthy.
11. How did your parents react?
Ask about parental reaction? or anyone else? opens the door for the pregnant woman to interpret that they would have some reason not to be happy or satisfied with the pregnancy.
Read also: 6 important tips for the woman who wants to get pregnant
12.? Make a caesarean section, it's much easier.
Childbirth is extremely personal and should be the pregnant woman's choice. While a caesarean section was best for you, it may not be best for her. Moreover, undergoing surgery is not easy at all.
13"You're so small, the birth is going to be awful."
Such comments may end up making the pregnant woman even more worried about the time of delivery and may discourage her choice. Remember that childbirth is personal, each case is a case, and a woman's experience can be wonderful? and that comments like that do nothing for that.
14. It will ruin your life.
Never assume that a child will make a woman feel compelled to abandon her way of life completely or that the coming changes will not make her happy.
15.? Did you get pregnant before or after marriage ??
Pregnant newlyweds can attract many interested in the date of conception of the child. Before causing embarrassment, ask yourself: does it really matter? After all, this is a private matter and asking sounds like meddling.
16.? But will you breastfeed ??
It's not nice to make a woman feel that the choice of how to feed her child is less worthy than any other.
Read also: 6 Myths and Truths About Pregnancy Phases
17.? You had such a beautiful body.?
To say that a woman will lose her beautiful body because of pregnancy is a problematic attitude. First, physical form may not be her priority. Also, many women regain the same shape they had before pregnancy; and not recovering does not mean that her body will no longer be beautiful.
18.? Will you keep working after the baby is born ??
Do not make assumptions. While for some women it is unthinkable to leave work after the birth of a child, for others it is unimaginable to leave the child and return to work. The decision must come from the woman herself.
19. Do you really want to do it yourself?
Raising a child on your own is entirely possible and questioning this may give you the feeling that you do not consider the pregnant woman capable of it, further creating or increasing her doubts and concerns about herself.
20.? Hope a girl comes now !?
Cheering for the baby's sex based on other children can lead to unpleasant situations. The fact that the person already has a boy, for example, does not mean that he will want the next baby to be a girl "to form the couple", or another boy "to keep company for the first". In addition, such comments may give the impression that the child will be less dear if it does not meet expectations.
21.? Finally !?
If you think a woman was taking too long to get pregnant and? Finally? got there, remember that the moment concerns her. If she had trouble getting pregnant or decided this was the time she would be prepared for it? What matters is that the season is particular.
22.? You can't eat this !?
Usually, the pregnant woman already knows well what she can and cannot eat and drink during pregnancy. Banking the food police is unpleasant and may not match their reality.
23. The good life is over, huh?
Who says life with children can't be good? A child does not necessarily eliminate the existence of tranquility or social and professional life. Moreover, devoting oneself exclusively to children is also no guarantee of a bad life.
24. Do you want to have more children?
Not everyone has a clear plan that how many children they expect to be or are sure enough to answer such questions. Questioning the pregnant woman about future children may make her feel pressured.
25. Are you going to eat just that?
Only the pregnant woman herself knows how her appetite is and how much she is willing to eat at that moment. Pointing out that she is eating too little can cause her to worry even more about the baby's health, which may be far from reality.
26.? Will you eat all this ??
Similarly, it is impolite to point out that the pregnant woman is eating more than necessary. Notes like these will make you look like a weight watcher.
27.? How Fresh Are You !?
Each woman knows about her concerns, health status and habits of feeling safe during pregnancy. Therefore, it is not cool to consider some of the care of the pregnant woman as freshness.
28.? Are you going out with this outfit ??
No judging the pregnant woman for her fashion choices during pregnancy. Short, tight, baggy clothes, with or without cleavage, that show or hide the belly? The woman is free to wear whatever makes her most comfortable.
29. Where did you get that name from?
The choice of name is an important and special part for the pregnant woman. So the option is usually some name she likes or has an important meaning and criticizing the choice can create a pretty boring mood.
30. That's the last one, right?
Again, remember that the number of children considered right for you is not always the same for other people.Making the pregnant woman understand that you think she already has too many children and that it is time to stop is not nice.
Always remember that there are several aspects of pregnancy that are extremely personal and concern only the pregnant woman, and while some like to share their experiences, others are more reserved. The general rule is to respect each other's particularities and keep in mind that the best for you may not be the best for the other!
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