Are you a victim of silent violence?

Aggressions are only recognized when they are apparent, as the vast majority of people tend to overlook emotional aggressions.

According to Wikipedia, violence is behavior that intentionally causes harm or moral intimidation to another person, being alive or damaging any objects. Such behavior can invade the autonomy, physical or psychological integrity and even the life of another.

We often hear reports of situations where the partner belittles and / or intimidates the partner, but usually these situations are viewed only as jealousy, control and somehow do not carry the same weight as when we hear someone was beaten.


However, psychological violence is very common, where the violator always acts with the intention of destroying the other's self-esteem. This happens insidiously, with verbal attacks often dismissing until you get unhealthy control over your partner.

As this aggression often happens in a subtle way, the other does not have the perception of what is happening, being the aggressor often blaming the partner of nonexistent errors and behaviors, where the aggressor ends up taking a blame for never acting correctly, even if aggression doesn't make sense.

With low self-esteem, he loses his own reference, believing that the error is in itself, as if it had less value than the aggressor.


The aggressor actually feels a need to show others that he is the victim, disqualifying his mate and posing as a devalued and despised being, when in fact he plays this role, always manipulating situations.

We can cite the example of a woman who has always attracted the attention of other men for her beauty and after marriage her husband begins to point out defects in her body and face, criticizing the clothes she wears, precisely in order to make her feel ugly, reaching the partner's self-esteem.

In this way, the partner wears clothes that devalue her body and the husband is pleased that other men do not look at her, and that she herself does not feel confident about herself.


It is a mistake to believe that such violence happens only to women. Studies already show that men are also victims of their partners.

The Ministry of Health survey conducted in 2008 and 2009 shows that 20.8% of notifications of domestic violence suffered by men are psychological. The same survey shows that the psychological aggression suffered by women is the reason for 49.5% of notifications, almost equaling the index of physical violence, 52%.

Thus, it is clear the importance of identifying when the relationship between the couple is ill and seeking to take effective action, because the children end up internalizing this pattern of marriage as a standard, suffering consequences such as low self-esteem, sadness and insecurity.

Another problem that also occurs in the family are situations where the father or mother tells the child? Are you dumb? or yet you don't know anything? characterizing silent violence, which in turn can have a strong negative impact on the child's self-esteem.

To diminish each other by using words is a form of violence and should not be ignored, much less encouraged. If you suffer from this problem in your relationships, do not hesitate to seek help from a psychologist.

Silent Violence (March 2024)


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