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Have you heard of BDSM? The subject gained much prominence with the movie "50 Shades of Gray", but is still taboo for many people. Others are very interested in learning a little more about the subject.
To clarify the doubts for those who want to know more about the practice, we consulted Tatiana T. Bovolini (CRP? 98621), sexologist and psychologist. She listed tips, terms, and key questions about BDSM.
Content Index:
- Surefire tips
- BDSM Dictionary
- More information and curiosities
7 surefire tips to get you started
Tatiana explains that BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. The term refers to sexual relations based on the pleasure of pain. It is a practice that requires respect and consent from those involved in it and requires knowledge of it as a whole.
Thus, it is a practice that can confuse some people and have its purpose distorted. For starters, BDSM is a universe to brave, and some tips can make this process easier. Check out some tips for starting BDSM practice.
Read also: Casual sex: all you need to know to practice
1. Security word
The safe word or? Safeword? refers to a word chosen by the partners to ensure the safety of the act. This word is spoken by the submissive when he wishes to interrupt the practice. The word of safety must be respected above all.
But which word should I use? The tip is to use words that are easy to understand and that cannot be used in another context or generate some misrepresentations. For example, if you use the word? Stop? as a safeword, it can further increase the will of those who are dominating. Choose simple words such as 'sky', 'stone', 'sea'. Feel free to choose.
2. Accessories
BDSM practice is optimized with the use of accessories. There is a plethora of accessories like handcuffs, bondage kit, whips and more.
Here, the tip is to choose accessories that offer safety and comfort. Look for products at reliable sex shop stores. Handcuffs, for example, must have a safety lock so that your partner is not caught. Know your body and your partner, know what the limits of both are, so you can choose lighter or more damaging accessories.
3. Confidence
For the practice of BDSM, trust in the other person is indispensable. You need to choose someone you can trust who is completely comfortable with you.
Read also: Tantric Sex: A Practice of Connection, Intimacy, and Expansion
4. Knowledge
For the practice of BDSM to be cool, you need to seek knowledge. Knowledge about your own body, about practice, about the environment and about the person you will share this relationship with.
5. Be attentive
Those who are dominating must be mindful of the reactions of those who are being dominated. You need to identify what feelings are going on. If your partner is in pain, tired or feeling pleasure.
Pay attention to the moment of enjoyment of the one being dominated. Use this awareness to control orgasm timing. This control will make the desire to enjoy increase and when it happens, it will be a burst of attunement.
6. Know the roles and be complete
Understand the roles in a BDSM relationship. If you are a dominatrix, act like one, maintain a controlling stance and a determined stare.
7. Exchange-Exchange
A BDSM relationship has well-defined roles, but nothing prevents their consent to change roles at any given time. Thus, it is possible to experience various situations and experience that will improve the practice.
Read also: Multiple Orgasms: What They Are and Tips for Getting There
These are the tips for those just getting to know the BDSM universe. Of course over time, the tips are different and more thorough. For now, try to follow these 7 little plans that we have prepared for you to start this search for the pleasure that the relationship offers.
BDSM Dictionary: Terms You Need to Know
The BDSM practice is a practice full of information, rules and more. It also contains some very specific terms that are known to practitioners. Meet some of the most famous and essential BDSM terms.
Bdsm
As we mentioned above, BDSM means Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism, but each term has its own meaning.
Bondage means bonding, bonding and refers to the practice of tying or restricting one's partner's movements.The term discipline, in BDSM, refers to compliance with the rules and standards established between the two.
The terms domination and submission refer to the roles of participants. A BDSM relationship contains someone who dominates and someone dominated.
Sadomasochism, the S and M, refers to those who like to stimulate suffering, sadism, and those who feel satisfied, masochistic, allowing the sadist to stimulate this suffering during practice.
Dom and Domme
Refers to who dominates. Dom for a domineering and domme for the domineering. They control the submissive consent.
Sub
It is those who allow themselves to dominate with consent. It is the submissive. The term is valid for men and women.
Scene
This is when an interaction happens, an act of the BDSM relationship. It can happen anywhere, just for the couple, accordingly, to assume their dom / domme and sub roles. It is a kind of erotic game.
Slave
It is the one who consents to give complete control to the other.
SSC
It means healthy, safe and consensual. It is the acronym that guides all BDSM practice. She must respect the mental, physical and emotional health of those involved.
Switcher
The term refers to who changes roles, is the person who plays the role of dominant and submissive.
Vanilla
It is the term used for people who do not practice BDSM. It is used because it refers to the blandest taste of ice cream.
Collar
It may just be a practical accessory, but it may be something that marks the official BDSM relationship, a symbol. When a dominator and a submissive officialize a relationship, they are said to have put a collar on.
Initially, these are the main terms you need to know to start BDSM practice. The universe of these relationships is quite complex and there are several things to learn over time.
More information and curiosities
Of course, the practice raises a number of questions and it is very important to clear them up before starting a BDSM relationship.
Thus, sexologist Tatiana clarifies some of the main doubts and exposes the curiosities and information on the subject. Check out:
BDSM Does Not Always Involve Sexual Practices
Exactly! BDSM practice does not always involve sex. It can be quite intense and sensual, but it need not necessarily be a sexual relationship. For example, a massage may be a BDSM practice.
50 Shades of Gray has nothing to do with BDSM
Tatiana states that the book does not approach the practice 100% in a certain way. It brings a lot of fantasy and some disrespect in the relationship between practitioners, some breaches of rules, etc.
Is it possible to safely suffocate?
One of the biggest questions about BDSM practices is hanging, whether it is a safe practice or if it can hurt the sub. For the sexologist, it is possible to practice suffocation safely.
Thus, everything in BDSM practice must be done safely, with the consent of both. It is important to conduct research and understand the practice of hanging.
Can BDSM be considered domestic violence?
There is a lot of distortion about what this kind of relationship really is and how it works. Tatiana states that the practice cannot be considered domestic violence at all. In the case of BDSM, there is consensus among practitioners and no one is required to accomplish anything.
Is BDSM practice among same-sex couples possible?
Although many people believe that only women can play the role of sub, this practice does not segregate gender or sexuality and everyone can be adept at it. Just find a mate who wants to practice it, study hard about it and be happy!
Is there love between a couple who do the practice?
Yes, there may be love. Some couples already come from a long relationship or are already married.
Nevertheless, some couples prefer to keep the contractual relationship without emotional ties. What matters is that you feel good and know your limits.
Can I never say no to the dominator?
Everything that is done in BDSM is with consent, so it is possible to negate an action. But for the practice to be carried out completely, it is important that there is a lot of conversation between the two.
These are the main questions that may arise for those who are interested in performing the practice. It is important to know BDSM well and get all your questions answered before you begin.
As we have said, BDSM practice is quite complex and requires studies, research and exchange of experience for it to fulfill its true role of pleasure through pain.
Now is the time to put these tips into practice and get to know each other better. But never forget: you are not obliged to anything and everything has to be done with your consent!
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