Domestic Violence: When Love Hurts

The other day, on my way to the office, I took a break to buy some water and came across a very interesting situation: two women discussing the news from a newspaper, where they said that their husband had jealously killed his wife. The youngest, looking about 20 years old, was in favor of the love that killsbecause according to her, there is nothing stronger and more beautiful than this kind of love. Then we can start this text with a reflection: is this love?

Examples abound, just look around us or our own lives: jealousy, emotional or financial dependence, low self-esteem, constant quarrels and so on. If we look up the meaning of the word love in the dictionary we can find several definitions, I chose this: "Great affection from one another." So we can say that love is "loving someone else", so acts of violence or examples cited above (jealousy, dependence, etc.) can show anything but love.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recognizes the domestic violence as a public health problem as it affects physical integrity and mental health. The effects of domestic violence, sexual and racial against women about physical and mental health are evident to those working in the field.

Women in situations of violence frequent health services and often with "vague complaints", in a growing sequence of episodes, of which homicide is the most extreme manifestation.

In Brazil, every fifteen (15) seconds a woman is a victim of violence. Available statistics and records at Specialized Crimes Against Women show that 70% of incidents happen indoors and that the perpetrator is her own husband or partner and over 40% of the violence results in serious bodily injury resulting from punches, slaps, kicks, lashings, burns, beatings and strangles.

The topic is serious and deserves attention, so that to deal with this problem were created specialized police stations in the care of women, shelters, social programs and more recently the Maria da Penha Law. Besides being a theme of movies and soap operas.

Of course, much needs to be done, especially in relation to public policies for prevention and guidance, as well, we have to make our contribution by not accepting any kind of violence, whether physical or mental. It must be clear that a person does not become aggressive overnight, so a slap, a louder voice can be signs of aggression and that we do not pay attention in daily life. Just as there is no justification for the violence (Ex:? Is he nervous about work ?;? Is the drink that does this to him ?;? I deserved because I did not do what he asked ?, etc).

Another important issue is the fact that women do not report or drop the complaint after the couple makes up. In my experience, violence is just the icing on the cake, ending a much longer history of emotional and financial dependence. It is not uncommon to find women who prefer aggression to loneliness.

So there is no point in protecting laws if she herself cannot defend herself from her worst enemy: herself. Therefore, psychological counseling, groups and family support are extremely important for the woman not to feel alone and for her to have the strength to leave a sick relationship.

Remember: there is only one aggressor if there is one assaulted.

Love Hurts | Domestic Abuse Pregnancy Short Film (May 2021)

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