There comes a day when you realize that those sweet memories of childhood are farther from your memory. And when you remember your teenage years, it is hard to believe that you had the courage to go to certain places, to wear certain clothes and even to do certain things.
And suddenly you notice that your early twenties are starting to miss you even before you left it. This is more or less the way you realize that you are entering the 30's crisis, a time that upsets everyone, but for some women it can be more delicate, full of doubts and anguish.
This crisis, like its signs, does not warn when it will arrive. It may be at 27, at 29, at exactly 30, in their mid-30s, and there are even those who claim to have never been through it, but the truth is that sneaky or like an avalanche, one way or another, it always comes.
In the body, the first signs of maturity are almost always inevitable. The skin no longer has that glow, that luster and the same texture. Dark circles start to become more apparent and if you look closely, you can already see some lines of expression appear. Who used to use a single cream all over the body tends to start collecting various pots for specific purposes.
The mood is no longer the same either, and an undeniable invitation to a party with a lot of music, drink and fun no longer looks as attractive as a warm bed. Even the knees start to complain a little when they are very demanding in that basic run through the park. And to make matters worse, there's still the balance, which decides to declare war making the mission of losing weight even more difficult.
There are many changes, however, the biggest changes that occur in this period happen inside the heads of women. After all, you can no longer act as a little girl, nor as a teenager, but at the same time it is a long way to become a lady.
If you have not yet reached this stage, you may be terrified of what you have just read, but there is no reason to panic. Exaggerated aside, these changes are part of the process of female maturity, but moving between these territories is as natural as turning 20 or 40. And as difficult as it may seem at first, it is totally possible to face this transition without trauma and believe me, with a lot of charm.
The stigma of the 30 years was eternalized in the nineteenth century by the French writer Honoré de Balzac, who in the book "The women of 30 years", highlighted for the first time the feminine maturity in the literature. That was when the popular term? Balzaquiana? to designate women of this age. In the book, the term referred to a poorly married woman, unhappy and subject to her husband, a fact common to most women of the time. Quite different from modern Balzakians living at a frantic pace.
In fighting for equal rights, women gained more freedom, autonomy, labor market space, leadership position and recognition, but their former roles continued to need them. So, in addition to being professional, they need to be good wives, present mothers, exemplary housewives, willing lovers, and all with a smile on their faces, a shapely body, and fashion, technology, and a little time left. , what happens in the soap opera.
It is precisely this excess of obligations and accumulation of duties that makes more and more women enter the crisis of 30 years. Not that she didn't exist in the old days, but it only happened around 40, when they started to feel old seeing their children leaving home. Nowadays, some women in their 30s have not even decided if they are ready to be mothers. The times are different, the priorities have been reversed and among many things to do it is difficult to choose which one to dedicate first, which leads many people to prioritize their career postponing the plans of motherhood.
And among this whirlwind of emotions, behold, the 30 knocks on the door bringing with it a lot of questions and insecurities. Single people start charging for a marriage, married women look at whether they are happy in their relationships, childless people race against time due to hormone depletion, and professionally they all wonder if they are on the right track.
It is as if before 30, everything was a rehearsal and from them, everything became definitive and nothing else could go wrong, because there are no chances of making mistakes in personal life, in love or in professional life.
In fact, taking stock can be good for identifying past failures and even correcting mistakes, but overburdening pressure and demands just because you have reached a certain age can trigger serious conflict and even depression.
It is natural to want to be successful in all walks of life, and even more natural to feel frustrated when one does not reach a goal within a predetermined period of society, but the ideal is to face all adversity calmly and patiently, because One of the many strengths of having lived three decades is the wisdom one gains and the experience that makes us understand that life is made of phases and that all of them pass naturally regardless of our choices.
And since there's no way, the best way to get through this phase of life is to look at the passage of time as another sign that you need to enjoy every minute of it. And not only that, instead of fighting against something immutable, as it turns out, the eternal youth sold by the beauty market doesn't exist, just as there is no need to set a deadline to be happy.
Between the 30s as parading all their wisdom and safety, after all, the smarter women have learned at some point in their lives that knowing how to make the best of every age is essential to feeling happy every day, without crickets and without crises.
Refusing to Settle: The Quarter-Life Crisis | Adam "Smiley" Poswolsky | TEDxYouth@MileHigh (April 2024)
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