The hustle and bustle of daily life, the need to divide between work, home and child-rearing puts in check the role of parents who wonder if they know how to raise and raise their children properly.
How can we face moments of rebellious crisis without trying to understand when it was wrong in the creation and especially without blaming yourself? In the book Bright Parents, Fascinating Teachers, psychiatrist and scientist Augusto Cury analyzes the role of parents and teachers in youth formation and cites some habits that differentiate good parents from brilliant parents. See who they are and become brilliant parents of intelligent and happy children.
Good parents give gifts, brilliant parents give their own being.
According to the author, this is the first habit that differentiates good parents from brilliant parents. While the good ones strive to fill their children with pampering and gifts while trying, as far as possible, to satisfy all their material desires, brilliant parents go further and present their children with something that is not lost or deteriorated over time, which money doesn't buy and will never be forgotten in a box in the corner of the room, they donate their life story sharing good and bad experiences, tears and smiles that will contribute to the development of self esteem, emotion and ability children to deal with loss and frustration.
Allowing children to know their parents intimately, their fears and even their weaknesses is a way of working on their children's emotions and allowing themselves to be seen not as the hero they idealize and often frustrate themselves, but as a human being, an equal. . Through the encouragement of intimacy, a relationship of complicity is created between parents and children that makes one penetrate and know the world of the other, strengthening bonds and mutual admiration.
As important as speaking is being consistent with attitudes, as speaking to understanding children and having aggressive attitudes can create a lot of confusion in their heads.
Good parents nourish the body, brilliant parents nurture the personality.
According to Cury, good parents are concerned with giving their children a healthy diet, controlling hygiene habits and especially with the quality of education as a means to get good jobs and financial conditions, while bright parents are concerned with intelligence. , hygiene and psychological health of children. For him, nurturing the emotion and intelligence of children is critical to developing security, courage, leadership, optimism, overcoming fears and preventing conflict.
The children of brilliant parents are endowed with a critical stance that enables them to always be ready to face the world and the conflicts it imposes with security, strength and freedom of choice.
Good parents correct mistakes, brilliant parents teach them to think.
Cury says that encouraging children to reflect on their mistakes is far more effective than any sermon or criticism, however constructive it may be. Children already know their parents and when they make mistakes they can even imagine the words that will be used by them at the time of scolding, which causes them to close and create a resistance cover for criticism and aggression that, at the end of After all, they have no effect other than hurt.
Brilliant parents surprise their children with creativity and first conquer the territory of emotion, which makes them gain attention, respect and admiration. Each time the error recurs, the reaction must be different so that it can analyze the error itself in a new way. When they are expecting an aggressive reaction, surprise them with a totally rational attitude, so that they will perceive their parents in a totally different way, which will develop their critical awareness, ability to think before acting, faithfulness, honesty, responsibility and become questioners.
Instead of pointing out your children's mistakes, ask them what they think of their own behavior.
Good parents prepare their children for applause, brilliant parents prepare their children for failure.
Educating sensitivity by preparing children to face their defeats is more important to Cury than preparing them for success.
Obviously, good academic performance, professional success, and good social relationships are important factors in anyone's life, but it is also important to prepare your children for the failure that is often easier to achieve than the success. When children learn to cope and overcome adverse conditions, then they are prepared to reach their goal with merit.Otherwise, he may be overcome by lack of patience, lack of persistence, lack of courage and even lack of humility to acknowledge his own failings.
Recognizing their own failings and apologizing to their children are part of the parenting process and are as important gestures as teaching them how to move forward as a means to develop motivation, boldness, patience, determination, the ability to cope, and overcome. challenges and the drive to create and seize new opportunities.
Good parents talk, brilliant parents talk like friends.
For all the habits mentioned above to work effectively, there needs to be dialogue. Only then will parents and children know each other intimately, because dialogue is the basis for any kind of relationship, especially friendship. Authority and respect are also earned through dialogue.
The more open parent-child dialogue is, the stronger the bonds of trust, so spend less time on TV and the Internet and invest in hours of talking with your child. Talk about life, about problems, about relationships, about behavior, sex, drugs and rock and roll, but never confuse dialogue with being condescending. Always state your point of view, but leave room for your children to expose theirs without prejudice. By doing so, you will have a friendly relationship with your child and will help to develop solidarity, optimism and companionship.
Good parents give information, brilliant parents tell stories.
The example of parents has an impressive effect on their children's lives, but while the good ones give information and data, brilliant parents, according to Cury, involve their children abusing their creativity to tell stories and drawing from simple lessons that they will take all along. life.
Real-life stories have ups and downs, but the key is to put enchantment on each of these passages, especially the bad ones, turning difficulty and anxiety into sources of motivation.
All children at some point in their life go through pressures, rejections, and sadness that parents, however much they want, cannot help but sharing experiences is the best way to make them understand that for almost everything there is a solution.
Be open with your children, stimulate your dreams and secure a lifelong friend by contributing to the development of your creativity, inventiveness, reasoning and the ability to find solutions to difficult problems.
Good parents give opportunities, brilliant parents never give up.
Everything you have taught your children must first be learned by you. Persistence is one of the subjects in which brilliant parents are joked. They never give up on educating, do their best not to give in to blackmail and pressure, and are firm when they need to set and impose limits, but the main thing is the ability to exercise patience, after all, nobody said that educating would be an easy task.
It takes intelligence and a firm pulse to make children become human beings of great value and however intolerant they may seem to have learned nothing, if you sow the seed, sooner or later you will reap good rewards.
Dedication and insistence on always doing the best for your children helps to develop their motivation, hope, perseverance and determination.
Always remember that patience is a doubt and that nothing should be taken literally, because regardless of the profile, all parents in their own way only want one thing: the happiness of their children.
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