Having or not having children?

It is increasingly common to find couples who choose to postpone or simply have no children. Formerly the children were compulsorily included in the marriage package and those who did not have them were discriminated against and the woman called "drought". The woman took care of the house and the children and the man was the provider. With the woman going to the job market, the number of children was drastically decreasing, our great grandparents and grandparents had 10, 12 children and many homebirths. There was no facility for doctors and contraceptives like these days.

Another issue is the advances in medicine that make it possible to postpone pregnancy more and more, so that late age does not become a hindrance for those who want to have children. So we can say that the decision to have or not have children is it easier? From the point of view of information and contraceptives yes, but there are still many demands on the couple and especially the woman.


Pregnancy (or the possibility of it) invites the woman back to childhood when she played with dolls and was already taking her first steps towards motherhood. The relationship this child has with the doll, with the mother, with the siblings and how she builds the idea of ​​being a mother will be important factors for her decision. For example, a girl who grew up seeing her mother talking about dreams she could never realize for her children as an adult will have difficulty giving up her freedom for the sake of pregnancy.

That's whywoman who doesn't want to have children You should ask whether your decision is an option or a childhood trauma. Of course, there are both options and when in doubt it is worth seeking help, especially to prevent regret from appearing. Who doesn't know that man who didn't want children and then became a "drool-daddy"?

But whatever the decision, it will entail gains and losses, if your decision is with many more losses than gains it is better to rethink it. Nor can we talk about what is gained or what is lost, because it varies according to each person's values. The important thing is to think that the choice was yours. Those who renounce motherhood should not in future hold their partner responsible for the unfulfilled dream. Just as a woman who has accepted to be a mother should not hold the other responsible either, for example: "Am I having a child for you?"

Whatever your decision, knowing the reasons will give you more peace of mind to deal with the frustrations of others. No one is under obligation to have a child. Whether the experience is favorable to you or not can only be decided by you.

Be happy.

Having Surgery at Children's Mercy (April 2021)


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