How to overcome the end of a relationship?

Everyone believed it was a prince. Always kind, opened the car door, gave gifts often, was handsome, flirtatious and said I love you so often that even the most suspicious of women would believe it. One day the prince left without much explanation said that the relationship was worn out and that despite all the love needed to go away. In fact he had already found a "new princess". He married, had children, and is unlikely to remember that he once left a ruined castle caused by the infinite sadness of abandonment.
For so long the shaken and lonely castle lived the shadows of indignation and revolt, no one can imagine how much she suffered.

The princess was only able to go on with her life when she realized that it was her own fault for her suffering. Yes. We are responsible for our sufferings and for allowing people to come into our lives and do what they want. We just forget that we are the only person who has the gate key and we can control the entry and exit. But then, how do we know who is prince and who is frog and how do we control the? Ordinance? of our life? Easy, the princes do not exist, except of course the drawings, movies and novels. The rest is farce. Unfortunately we grow up with the false idea that someone will save us and that we will be happy forever. The result is that we create too many expectations in our relationships and especially in the other person. We cannot behave as if we were princesses waiting for salvation, first because princesses do not exist either, and second because we cannot depend on someone to save us or to be happy.

Another question is the "were happily ever after". Why does a relationship only work if it lasts forever? Didn't work out if it lasted 1 day, 1 week, 1 year? Weren't you happy for that particular time? Why do we mourn the loss instead of celebrating the happiness we experience? Why don't we respect each other's decision not to want our company anymore? By the way, do you know that fake prince of early history, bad character? He's not as bad as he looks, he has a history of abandonment since childhood which generated a much greater need for attention than the poor princess could give, so we can't blame him, because at that moment he needed something that She could not give. Therefore, we can say that to be together in a relationship is to walk in the same direction, with the same goal, when one or both feel the need to change paths, there is the possibility of the end of the relationship. Imagine a woman at 15, 20, 30 and you will see that we are beings in constant evolution, our desires change and the person next to us too.

As for the princess, she ceased to be a princess and consequently did not want to find another prince, married a normal man, with all his flaws and of course qualities. But before all that, she learned to be happy alone and came to believe in love without charge, without chains and sufferings. She finished college, got promoted at work, bought her house, became independent. One day he went out with someone without pretense, did not feel that cold in the belly, nor saw stars and hearts fall, but there holding hands can feel the safety and confidence of an ordinary man. We cannot say that they will be happy forever, but we can say that today they are, and that is what matters.

How to Get Over The End of a Relationship | Antonio Pascual-Leone | TEDxUniversityofWindsor (August 2021)


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