We have all had or met someone who has had a relationship in which the jealousy reigned. Admittedly, everyone has a little. Only this feeling can destroy, disrupt or spice up the relationship. If you have problems with this but think the case is lost, you are wrong. Contrary to what many people think, there is a way to live with jealousy in a healthy way. And to help us better understand the issue, we sought out relationship and anxiety specialist Alexandre Bez to talk about it.
The reasons can be various, among many aspects, as emotional or even because of a specific situation. In general jealousy is linked to insecurity. There is no different feeling from the other, what varies is the understanding of the situation by each one. But Bez explains that it is not because someone is insecure that he is necessarily jealous. "A person for being insecure at other points in life, but not in their relationships," he says.
There are those who consider jealousy as a sign of love, which is not wrong, according to the expert. ? As long as it is normal and does not disturb or interfere with the life of the partner, the feeling is a clear demonstration of affection?, comments. Nevertheless, Bez points out that exaggeration may indicate possession, not love.
When the feeling is excessive and abnormal, that is, when the charges go beyond the limits, it can be considered a disease. • Abusive jealousy is one that brings everything the relationship doesn't need. Especially when the other person is independent, mature and rational ?, comments Bez.
Contrary to what many people think, there is healthy jealousy, yes. It is one that reveals concern about the relationship and is controlled, not exacerbated. "Who loves, is afraid of losing, but knows how to put in its proper place, respecting the limits of the partner, without harming him," comments the expert.
Each person is jealous to a different degree according to their personality. The healthy thing is not to overdose or overdo it. It is important to note the personality of the partner. Generally, the potential jealous are aggressive, possessive and bossy. Do you think the other is a property that belongs to them ?, completes the expert. To solve the problem, the couple must dialogue to understand the situation and their relationship. Thus, if jealousy is unfounded, the matter will be resolved quickly.
Straight Talk: Is Jealousy Good? (January 2021)