The marriage is over, now what?

There are many reasons why people commit to marriage, and instead of what we imagine, it is not always the passion that unites couples.

We see that passion is the initial step in relationships, but as we look more closely at the stories about unions, the motives are different because they involve a variety of different contexts, from person to person, even the parts of a couple.

Leaving the parents' house, from the rigid or cold regime, where the lack of affection prevails is still a strong reason that lead many people to connect in another, at other times, is the need to have someone who feels safe to continue their life. life, because it only changes the dependence of the parents, by the spouse.

We can raise a number of situations here, but the important thing is to understand how this has been happening.

When we come together in a marriage, we think we have found the ideal person, and we live in a state of total ecstasy, imagining that we have somehow been rewarded, that the universe has chosen us to live this infinite love. This process often takes months, sometimes years, until one day we stop, and almost magically, we realize that everything is falling apart.

Some people face the marriage as the final stretch for a series of difficulties, but this is the first sign of failure. As for the two of us, we have no way of letting go of our personal problems, defects and difficulties, they go along, and gradually they become very apparent.

We realize that nothing has changed, we just left one house and went to another, and we have to look closely at this process. Our gaze on the partner changes, the idealization of the perfect couple falls, and we are faced with the reality we create.

When these issues are added to the partner's difficulties, this becomes complicated, and the relationship will require the couple a good deal of maturity to be able to look and see what the possibilities are for changing this picture.

However, it is clear that today with the cultural and social changes we are experiencing, we are no longer stuck in weddings as before, because we have the possibility to start over, to look for new ways.

The divorce rate hit a new high in the country in 2010, showing that couples who decide to end their marriage are increasingly opting for direct divorce rather than going through the process of separation. This is what points the survey Civil Registry Statistics, released on Wednesday by the IBGE (Brazilian Institute of Geography and Statistics).

In addition to the common causes that occur in the separation process such as betrayal, physical and verbal aggression, loss of sexual interest, alcoholism, abandonment, today we see that people have more courage to let go of their partners, because they realize that they do not walk At the same time, yes, each has their own interests, often losing even the link between the couple.

Assessing your marriage and finding that there are no longer ties of love, respect, or even interest is the first step in thinking about real separation.

As our culture has changed the view on separation, women no longer carry the stigma of being separated, enabled him to increase the rate of new marriages. Remarriages (marriages in which at least one spouse was divorced or widowed) totaled 18.3% of unions, up from 2000 (11.7%), according to the IBGE.

"Is My Marriage Over?" 5 Signs Your Marriage Is Doomed (April 2024)