“Dating for 3 years is a good relationship, we get along well and he likes me a lot. However, I am never satisfied with the love he gives me, I always want more, in fact I need more and I don't know what else to do so that my boyfriend gives me more love, affection and attention. Would you like tips to be more loved.? Reader, SP.
Imagine the scene, a woman tears her heart out and gives it to her boyfriend, and from that moment on he is responsible for pumping his heart and making it work, so he will have to guess his needs without respite and rest. The same situation happens when we put our happiness in the hands of others and we need each other to make us happy. It's not fair to each other to carry so much responsibility, besides, no one in this world knows more about our pains and needs than ourselves. A very simple example that I see constantly in the office are women who create expectations? Fanciful? in relation to her boyfriend (desire for surprise gifts, flowers, romanticism). The result is a woman who fantasizes too much and will always be frustrated. We have to admit that he has no crystal ball to know which bag out of the 5,000 in store you would like, so imagine knowing how best to take care of your heart. In addition, he already has his own life to take care of.
The woman who gives her heart to her mate creates a emotional dependence, that is if he leaves the heart will not be pumped and she will die. So that this does not happen the fear of loss becomes more constant. Charges and jealousy will come on the scene in desperate measure of saving the relationship and especially "the heart".
In response to the reader's email, I must say that there are no magic tips or formulas for other people to love us and give us more attention, because as has been said, each one has their own life and care. Interestingly, the need for more love resembles a drug addict who is always in need of more. or a binge eating where hunger is constant.
In the case of emotional dependence the love It is never enough, and the only way to heal is to increase self-love and diminish the need for love from others. It is not easy, it is a long and sometimes painful work, but the result is independence, demonstrated in simple gestures. Let me give you an example: A dependent woman will always put the other woman first and gifts are often bought (please not to be missed). Last week, I heard an emotional report from a patient who, after three years in a difficult relationship, went to the mall for the first time and bought her an imported perfume. It sounds simple, unimportant, but anyone who suffers from addiction knows very well what I am talking about. By the way, I get a lot of emails from readers looking for help. Most are women with low (or not even) self-esteem who are subjected to bad relationships. It saddens me to say that many of these women live with violence (verbal / physical) and unfortunately cannot end the relationship. There is no point in having laws that protect women who suffer from maltreatment if she does not have the strength to report her partner, mainly because for many the fear of being alone and the fear of abandonment is greater than the physical pain of violence.
So again I repeat what I have been saying in all my texts: we need to love each other, and not a little love, it needs to be at least enough to know what is good for us or what is not nice. We cannot beg for love by accepting any kind of show of affection as the ideal kind of relationship. Love each other!
How To Make Your Partner Feel More Loved (August 2020)