“I am very jealous and suspicious. He has a lot of problems: he drinks uncontrollably, he has a gambling addiction, he is a liar, and he has physically and morally assaulted me. Because of him I left behind friends and lived only for him. Today I find myself alone with no one to talk to or go shopping with some coworkers he would let. I wanted to end our relationship, but I have no strength. (Reader, Christmas? RN)
As we have already said, jealousy is a sign that something is wrong. When insecurity arises it can be for a real or imagined reason. When our? Hauntings? If you are imaginary, you need to seek help to improve your self-esteem and consequently feel worthy of the love of others and not be afraid of external threats. When jealousy has a? Justification? The real thing (lies, betrayal, etc.) is the choice to overcome problems and continue the relationship or put an end to it. Both options are valid and depend on both the type of relationship and the two people involved. But, when cohabitation becomes difficult (as in the case of the email above, where there are aggressions) and the person wants, but can not leave the relationship? Can love overcome all problems? Usually when the person is in a "troubled" relationship, is suffering, and can not break up, we can say that there is an emotional dependency and there is no love itself.
It is very common when starting a relationship to get away from friends and family, but in some cases the distance is total and we have the exclusive love of only one person and the end of this relationship seems unbearable. For example, one wall is made of several bricks, each brick representing a different class (1 friend brick, 1 boyfriend brick, 1 family brick, 1 work brick, etc.), when we lose one brick, in this case the brick of the brick. work, the wall will not fall as there are all other bricks to support the wall. When we build our wall with only one type of brick, we risk that wall collapsing and we are left with nothing. Therefore, we cannot see our love relationship as the main focus of our lives, as if we were princesses waiting for the prince and his white horse to save us, and therefore we cannot be afraid of being alone or giving up our friends. and family for that love. Nor should we put the enchanted prince costume on a flawed man (especially when we are talking about aggression) and imagine that over time and love everything will change.
Many women get married and have children believing in change, but nobody changes anyone. That's why it's so important to have a good self-esteem, to recognize a bad relationship, and to be aware of when it's not doing us good. We have often learned from childhood that love is suffering and we accept this condition. So the first step is to learn to love yourself to recognize if what the other offers is love or not.
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Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem (January 2021)