When a relationship is starting and you are still meeting your partner, can it be hard to imagine wanting to get away? But the longer a couple is together, the more you'll realize that it's good to have a separate time of your own to do your own thing.
All of us occasionally need time alone to relax or to be with some friends and family. And while this is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship, knowing how to borrow this space is no easy task. To the listener it may even seem scary.
Here are five expert tips for having a hassle-free conversation and getting them both to have some time for themselves.
1. Set the right time for you
If you need a weekend or just an hour to cool off or do other things, make sure you make it clear to your partner. ÜI need a walk around the block. I want to spend the weekend at my parents' house. Want to rent an apartment for six months in another city ?. Always say how long it will be and what you intend to do. Having this clarity makes the other party safer.
2. Explain your feelings
Whenever you need to communicate about something difficult in your relationship, explain your feelings and the reasons why you made such a decision. It is a simple way to show others that the need for space is not a reflection of your feelings or relationship, but a personal decision. Do I need space because I need to discover / rest / organize my thoughts / write / work on this project?
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3. Listen to partner concerns
Of course, your partner may have some questions about your order. Instead of disregarding your feelings or giving a vague answer ("don't worry, it's going to be all right"), listen to specific concerns, fears, anxieties and, if it makes sense to you, make a plan for future commitments together. .
4. Remember that you are individual before being a partner.
If you are the only one who is asking for space or being asked for space, it is important to keep in mind that both you and your partner are individuals with different needs, not extensions of each other. This is vital to the longevity of relationships. Know that the other's need is not always about you.
5. Seek Balance
When it comes to asking for space, it can be hard to know how much is too much (or too little). There is no right amount, because each can be at a different time. That is why it is important to talk and see the time each one sees as needed.
Always remember that one person cannot meet everyone else's needs and the desire of you or your partner to have space is necessary for each person to take care of himself and come back stronger and replenished.
Most importantly, let them both be clear about what kind of space they want / need, how comfortable you and he / she are with it and what that desire means for a while.
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