How to control jealousy?

Who has not had jealous to throw the first stone. Well, we all had and will be jealous. Feeling (love, hate, sadness, jealousy, etc.) is part of the human condition and is therefore extremely natural. Jealousy in a controlled way can be positive as it suggests caring for the people we love (boyfriend, family, friends, etc.).

However, when this care is excessive and there is a sense of ownership, jealousy becomes unmanageable. Our first experiences with jealousy come from the primary relationship between mother and baby. The baby is totally dependent on the mother (as if they were one) and to ensure the constant presence of the object of her love, gives rise to a true anxiety of abandonment (fear of losing). Therefore, the jealous person cannot accept each other's individual position and any relationship outside the couple poses a threat.

?Spy on? the cell phone, email, orkut, look for? traces? In clothing, knowing where you are and who you are with are just a few examples of what the jealous person can do. She constantly suffers the fear of losing or being "passed over".

We have to make it clear that jealous woman This is not because you want to, jealousy is a sign that something is not right and contrary to what many people think is not a disease, nor is it too much love. It is not uncommon to find a woman who does not like the? Famous? Football with friends or distrusting when a partner wants to study, that is, not allowing leisure, physical activity and professional improvement is not love and may suggest a? of selfishness (fear of losing). Thus, it is no use trying to control jealousy if we do not discover its cause (which justifies many women who promise to “no longer be so” and fail to fulfill).

Lack of self-esteem and real experiences of abandonment and betrayal are the most common causes. Regarding self-esteem, it is a delicate matter, since we assume that it is built over the years since birth, through positive and negative relationships. When a woman has had more negative than positive experiences, she may have difficulty loving herself by making any other woman better than her. Only increased self-esteem will make her know her worth and accept that she can be loved and have a healthy relationship. A woman who has already been betrayed and fears that it will happen again (in the same or in a new relationship) should also be mindful of self esteem and practice dialogue with her mate (which is always the best solution).

Therefore, when jealousy knocks on our door, we must first analyze what their motives and the level of dependence we have on our love object, because the higher the level of dependence, the greater the fear of loss and consequently the greater the fear. the jealousy. We often attribute greater values ​​than we should to people and relationships, so it is not uncommon to hear such phrases as: "you are my life", "you are my happiness"? or "I wouldn't know how to live without you." This dependence, which closely resembles the relationship we had with our mother as a baby, arises from the lack of balance between a healthy love relationship, friends, profession, family, and so on.

Remember first you need to love yourself and be happy regardless of other people, whatever comes from then will be happy encounters without possession, without fear and without jealousy, with much more lightness and happiness.

How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship - You'll Be Surprised (March 2024)