Marriage is one of the most important choices in anyone's life. This is because it is from this that the decision is made to set aside individuality and share the same home, the same problems, and the same family.
That was the thought of Gerald Rogers in getting married. 16 years later, he changed from the "married" group for the "divorced", and after all the hardship he decided to share with the world some tips and advice he would like to have received before getting married.
According to Patricia Camargo, psychologist and affective coach, the frequency of divorces has been increasing, and this is mainly due to the speed in which things happen today, which reduces the patience that people have to resolve situations. ? People no longer want to invest time to correct what is not good, for them it is easier to throw away? and does that include marriage too? suggests the expert.
About ways to avoid problems in the future, the psychologist considers responsibility a key to success. "Instead of blaming or judging the other, assuming our decisions and actions, it is easier to find a way to solve the problem," points out Patricia. And that's what Gerald did.
Despite the difficulty and disappointment of losing the woman he loved, Gerald used the moment to write tips on how to have and maintain a healthy marriage. How to preserve the love and happiness of the couple over the years. And the tips apply to both men and women. Check it out below.
Also read: 4 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Filing For Divorce
1. Never stop courting, complimenting and dating
When two people decide to marry, they decide to share their hearts and protect them. Never let that decision go, and never let everyday stress and laziness get over it. Take care of your mate and earn your heart just as you did when you first met.
2. Protect your heart
Just like protecting your mate's heart, you should protect yours. Love yourself, cherish yourself, and take care of your heart. Remember to dedicate a part of your heart to your husband, and take care of that space very well, without letting anyone in but him.
3. Fall in love again and again.
Everything changes, and in the same way, you will change over time. So you must remember to choose your mate every day to be by your side, and likewise, you will always have to fight to win him, just as you did in the beginning.
4. Always see the best in it
Focus on what you love, and it will get bigger and bigger. Likewise, if you always pay attention to your partner's defects, they will seem bigger and probably bother you more. This does not mean ignoring arguments and disagreements, but saving time from unnecessary fights for foolish reasons. So always look at the qualities, what makes you love him and feel lucky every day to be by his side.
5. Fixing it is not your duty
If you chose him, you should love him the way he is, not try to change him over time. If he changes, let that be his choice.
Read also: How does money influence divorce and vice versa?
6. Take Responsibilities
You are responsible for your happiness. As much as your partner makes you happy, this is not his job. You must take care of your emotions and find your happiness so that it can add up and complete the relationship.
7. Never blame him if you get nervous
If you get mad, you should know how to handle it. It is your feelings and you are responsible for them. Never expect anything from him. Try to understand the reason for your nervousness, breathe, and try to deal with the situation as mature and balanced as possible.
8. Allow Your Mate to Be Any Way You Want
If he is feeling bad, it is not your job to fix it, but to show that you are by his side and support him in everything. Allow him to talk to you, listen to him and try to understand everything that is said behind the emotions.
9. Don't be too serious
Do not take life so seriously. Live smiling, making your mate smile, and you will see that your days will be much lighter.
10. Complete your mate's soul every day.
He must have wants, curiosities and dreams. Be interested in them too. Try traveling with him, learning something new from him and it will show that you love him.
Read also: 10 tips to maintain the health of your marriage
11. Be present
Simple. Devote time, attention and care to it.And especially when you are in a moment together, focus on that moment and forget any other thoughts.
12. Be willing to assume his sexuality
Give yourself body and soul and make him feel like you trust him. Complete it with your presence, affection and attention.
13. Don't act stupid?
You will make mistakes, just like him. The important thing is the learning and the evolution taken with the passing of each mistake. You will not be perfect, but try not to act stupid or rude.
14. Let him have his space
Just like you, he will need time to reflect, meditate, and have fun alone. Respect this, and do the same. It is important to cool the head and renew the energies to be able to surrender more and better.
15. Be vulnerable
In some moments, you will have to defend your fears and insecurities. In others, just acknowledge your mistakes. Be mature and have an open mind.
Read also: 10 Rules for a Lasting Marriage
16. Be completely transparent
A marriage is built on mutual trust, and to guarantee theirs, you must be willing to share everything, just like it, so that you know and love each other completely, the way you are.
17. Never Stop Growing Together
So how do we avoid atrophy of our body? physical activity, good nutrition and good habits? You must take care that your relationship does not go in the same direction. Find new dreams, new interests, and go after each one.
18. Don't worry too much about money
The financial situation is important, but working with it is complicated when key players live with problems in this area. Find ways to resolve and balance the situation together.
19. Forgive Immediately
Instead of worrying about carrying past hurts, forgive and move on. Free yourself from small problems that lead to stagnation and forgive always thinking about the future.
20. Always choose love
Love is the most important piece in this whole story. If it is the basis for your marriage, from the moment of decision making to times of trouble, nothing will be able to destroy the relationship. Love will always be safety.
Getting Married in Your 20s | Advice (March 2024)
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