One of the hardest tasks in raising children? Is it a big challenge for moms? is to deal with the jealousy between siblings. Even doing their best to show love for each other equally, there always seems to be unsurpassed competition between them, especially when they are young.
How to act in these cases? What should mothers do to teach them to listen to each other, to respect differences, understand boundaries, and resolve natural difficulties? Check out some tips and suggestions on how to get around the situation of sibling dispute.
Jealousy is inevitable
Generally, mothers try to suppress the manifestation of jealousy among the children with comments like, "Don't talk about your brother like that, you have to be friends." However, continuing to deny may not be a good solution.
Admitting the negative feelings one brother has for the other is the first step for parents to accept the situation. So they can help their children understand what they are living in and most importantly, that there is enough love for all their children.
Using art to express hostile feelings
At sibling fights they are normal and part of children's development. Therefore, one need not despair. However, there are ways to control violent behavior. Ideally, mothers should be able to show their children that there are other ways of discharging and jealousy and feelings of anger with words, drawings, and other artistic activities.
Use paint, play dough, clay, cutouts and whatever else your imagination tells you. Suggest that the children find other ways to show what they are feeling: "Have you considered making a poster to tell your brother you don't like him moving in your closet?"
Avoid making comparisons
Children are always very different from each other (and you should be happy about that). Therefore, avoid comparisons between them, they only serve to intensify rivalry. Instead of saying "Why aren't you a scholar, like your brother?", Explain the behavior you would like your child to have: "You need to get more into school, why don't you start now?"
Each child deserves their own treatment.
As each child is uniqueIt is important for mothers to know that it is necessary to meet individual needs without trying to do everything the same for everyone. Spend time with each child separately. Listen to what each one has to say, their preferences, complaints.
Praise each child's strengths and encourage them to admire the brothers. Emphasize that the friendship between the brothers is special. Give examples, tell your own or other families. And remember: It is normal for the mother to have more affinity for one or another child, but should never show preference.
10 Ways to Deal With a Toxic Sibling (January 2021)
- Children and adolescents