After nine months of waiting, a baby arrives to change a couple's life for good! By the way, no matter if the woman and the man are first, second or multiple parents, the fact is that the birth of a child has the power (and quite) to affect their routine.
In addition to the practical issues related to everyday life? for example, care they will have to give to the new family member; purchases and changes they have to make in the decoration of the house etc. ? The birth of a baby also inevitably alters the behavior of the parents.
Does a baby require attention, especially from the mother? are you breastfeeding? practically all day. As a result, it is common for a woman to often forget to take care of herself and leave a little aside. the relationship with your partner.
But of course, this should not happen. The birth of a baby should always be a source of joy in a family and should serve to further strengthen the love and companionship between a couple.
And since love is also closely linked to sex, it is crucial for men and women to remember that they should, yes, resume sex as soon as possible after the birth of the baby.
But for that, of course, is medical clearance required? But after all, how long can a woman have sex again? Is everything normal again between the couple after the birth of a baby? Doubts like these are very common.
With that in mind, below you will find the answer to these and other questions regarding sex after pregnancy. It is worth checking!
10 questions and answers related to sex after pregnancy
1. How long after childbirth can a woman resume her sex life?
This is probably the biggest doubt among couples. Keila Oliveira, psychologist, sexologist and sex therapist, points out that it is always the doctor who determines the best period of abstinence.
But generally, after 30 to 40 days after delivery, the woman is already free to resume her normal sexual routine.
2. Why does a woman need to be sexless after the baby is born?
This should be a recovery phase for the woman, physically speaking. This is because before this period? 30 to 40 days after delivery? The interior of the uterus will still be rebuilding from the changes brought about by pregnancy.
It is noteworthy that at this stage, penetration, besides being quite painful, increases the risk of women developing some type of infection in the womb.
3. What to do to make the couple's relationship not cool? in this phase of abstinence?
The fact that the couple cannot have sex for a period of 30 to 40 days does not mean that the relationship will (or should) cool because of it.
Especially because the couple is not prevented from exchanging caresses and affection? On the contrary, physical contact and also sentimental contact between men and women must be strengthened in this new phase of life (now that they have one more member in the family).
4. In the case of normal delivery, does recovery usually take longer?
The waiting time is usually the same, from 30 to 40 days, always according to medical advice.
Sometimes, however, this type of delivery demands too much on the vaginal muscles and, as a result, there is a reduction in muscle tone in the region. So, can the doctor recommend the practice of local exercises? which will help the woman to resume her sex life with the same pleasure as before.
5. During postpartum sexual abstinence period, can oral sex occur?
There are no contraindications to oral sex. This can even be a good alternative for the couple to keep the? Burning desire? in this period.
6. Is it normal for a woman to feel tired and not want to have sex (even after medical release for sex)?
Sure, the birth of a baby completely changes a woman's routine, but does that necessarily mean that she will feel so tired that she is not in the mood for sex?
Keila Oliveira explains that usually after childbirth, the woman has many other duties that until then, as a pregnant woman, had not, such as:
- shorter and unregulated sleep periods;
- time to breastfeed;
- baby health care;
- baby hygiene care etc.
"All these cares inherent in a new living being, totally defenseless and devoid of an advanced and resistant immune system, requires a lot of attention and, consequently, cause greater fatigue," he says.
? All these factors together? tiredness, irregular sleep, breastfeeding? usually make women less prone to sexual desire and willingness to have sex ?, highlights the sex therapist.
It is the man's role, therefore, at this moment, to be patient and collaborate with the baby's routine. The responsibilities must be shared between father and mother in a balanced way, after all the child belongs to both. This will contribute to a woman's better disposition to sex.
7. Can the birth of a baby still change a woman's behavior toward her partner?
Keila Oliveira points out that some women do not necessarily feel very tired physically, but may enter a state of? Baby crush? so intense, eventually neglecting her husband's care. Sometimes some men may feel rejected at the expense of the mother's devotion and attention to the baby. And this is a factor that may be related to the couple's sexual issues ?, highlights the professional.
8. Is it normal for a couple to have relationship problems after the baby is born?
Given some of the above questions, one more question may arise: does every couple have relationship problems after the birth of a baby?
But of course the answer is no. “We are all very distinct human beings, we have different reactions to every situation in life. Each couple reacts differently when the family begins to grow. Regarding sex things could not be different either. Are there couples who have a normal sex life after pregnancy, others go into crisis and have sexual problems and a few improve their activities considerably ?, highlights Keila Oliveira.
Still according to the sexologist, the important thing is that the couple can maintain an open, sincere dialogue. "It is crucial that men and women can remain empathetic with this new situation," he says.
It is not uncommon to find couples who go into crisis after the birth of their children because they feel more insecure, less welcomed, jealous of a? Third? that becomes part of this relationship. It is not difficult to happen cases where the man starts to feel neglected and left cornered as the woman marvels at this newborn baby. Nothing more natural, especially when the child was very desired? Comments the sex therapist.
“But being mature enough helps the couple stay together and face this new phase with insight and understanding,” says Keila.
9. What should I do if my partner is not interested in having sex?
Some men are afraid to have sex with both a pregnant woman and after the baby is born (even with the doctor's release for it).
According to Keila Oliveira, this is often not closely related to the physiological changes that women go through. And yes, much more with each man's own particular emotional issues. Knowing how to talk and try to reach a consensus is always the best way?
Still according to the sexologist, an important tip for this type of fear not to occur on the part of men is to encourage him to always participate in the entire gestational process. Prenatal consultations, as well as ultrasounds, help the man to assimilate and better understand each step. Ending fears and anxieties, and also favoring that? Daddy? be included in this process and don't be cornered, he says.
10. What to do if the baby cries at the time of sex?
Ideally, invest in warmer times just as the baby is sleeping. But since the little ones are unpredictable, he can resolve to cry well at the time. But that is no cause for despair! Solve the child's problem and go back to where you left off.
Questions about sex during pregnancy
There are also many questions about sex during pregnancy. The most common question, of course, is still: Can a pregnant woman really have sex?
Keila Oliveira explains that as long as the pregnancy is healthy and does not undergo any impairment (as in cases of risky pregnancy, low placenta or imminent early delivery), sex is recommended. ? But this always determines who is the doctor who accompanies the pregnant woman in prenatal care ?, highlights.
Does the sex therapist add that sex during pregnancy makes the couple closer, is it good for their health? This is exactly why it is so recommended.
According to Keila, some women even report feeling more willingness and pleasure during pregnancy. "Some doctors even recommend more intense sexual activity in the last weeks of pregnancy when there is a desire for childbirth to be normal, because sex makes the woman more likely to have a calmer labor," explains the sex therapist.
What should I do if my partner is not interested in having sex?
Keila Oliveira comments that some men are not likely to have sex with women in the "big belly" phase. “The mother spirit is in evidence and some men do not know how to separate these roles of woman and mother very well. But are personal issues of a very unconscious character?
Below the sex therapist gives some tips to help in these cases:
- The couple must maintain an open, empathic dialogue with respect and acceptance from both parties.
- Once again it is important for this partner to participate in the entire gestational process, to be able to attend all appointments and examinations.
- Is it interesting that the couple try to find a space to read a lot about this period (pregnancy)? which can be complicated, but can also be very beautiful and full of satisfactions.
- The couple should be aware that they may have other sexual options than just penetrative sex. It can be added in this menu: oral sex, anal, caresses. The couple's dating need not be compromised if both understand that sex goes beyond penetration.
- Finding less awkward positions, especially in the third trimester of pregnancy, is a good way.
- Creativity and companionship are fundamental points in this phase of the couple's life.
It's important for both of them to recognize that they play on the same team and not on different teams! Having a baby is rich and changes the lives of many people, but you have to be wise and patient so that these changes are always for the better ?, concludes the sex therapist Keila Oliveira.
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