First, pregnancy is discovered, then 9 months pass. When the child comes into the world, it is difficult for the parent to live to think about how to raise the child. Things just go on and on in a direction that often goes unanalyzed.
Gradually, father and mother begin to take action and adopt practices that may seem harmless, but may actually be real time bombs waiting to explode in your child's future. Keep reading and see which ones common parenting attitudes can have the opposite effect to what is expected in the upbringing of children.
1 ? Make it easy on their lives
Trying to get all the stones out of your child's path may seem tempting and sound like a very good thing to your child, but in fact, with that attitude you are: declaring that he can't handle himself and preventing him from learning. It is also creating a dependency relationship that can one day become very problematic when you are not around.
2 ? Want to hurry their way
It is very common for some parents to want their child to know more than other children of the same age, to be more mature, to read even when others have not yet learned. However, hastening the child's development can cause a lot of confusion. According to experts, the ideal is to let the child live each phase of life and develop accordingly.
3? Cover the sun with sieve
Another very common practice is to find quick solutions to problems that require a lot of time and dedication. For example, if a child is not doing what you want him to do, a simple solution is to blackmail him into saying that if he behaves well he will win the video game he wants so badly. However, this type of relationship does not teach children to respect their parents, the rules, and not to listen when necessary.
4? Want to be friends with your child and forget the limits
Trying to maintain a harmonious and close relationship with your child is an admirable attitude, however, when friendship with your child becomes more important than educating your child, this becomes a problem. For example, there are situations where some parents do not take disciplinary action with their children because they fear losing their friendship with their child and this is not recommended.
5? Measure your parenting success through your child's achievements
Another attitude of parents that can cause a negative impact on child rearing It is to think that if your child is successful at what he does it means that they are being good parents. This is not always true. Also, such thinking can lead to excessive charges and cause frustration. Avoid this behavior.
6? Try at all costs to protect your child
Protecting is good, taking care of your child is your role, but not excessively. Protecting your child excessively prevents your child from learning to deal with the adversities he or she will encounter in later life. If you want your child to know how to protect himself even when you are not around, start by letting him out of the bubble.
7? Let the child be raised by anything but you
The rush of modern life has left parents with less and less time to invest in child rearing. One side effect of this behavior change is that parents are always looking for devices and resources to keep their children busy while they rest or work (even when they are at home). So children spend 95% of their time being educated by movies, cartoons, nannies? least for parents. In addition to this behavior that distances the child and parents, this can also have other psychological consequences on the child.
Despite these recommendations, each case is unique and no suggestion solves every parent's problem. So if you feel that you may be taking actions similar to these, seek the help of a professional, a psychologist; talk to your children's teachers and also the school's pedagogue. Invest in your child's education and not just in a good school. You, better than anyone, know how much he deserves.
This is the Key to Calm Parenting (January 2021)
- Children and adolescents