behavior
May 2, 2024
Minutes To Read: 5

How to win back a love: practical tips to help you in this mission

At the end of a relationship, no matter how long it lasted, one party may not be well resolved. Most likely you have experienced this or seen several people in a situation like this. Especially when the decision to break up is made by only one person, and not by mutual agreement, it turns out that one of the two can get hurt.

Psychoanalyst and relationship coach Silvana Rangel adds that “when a relationship ends and one of the parties continues to love, then comes the pain that for some is almost unbearable. Is there a mixture of feelings such as longing, abandonment, frustration and rejection involved in this process?

To start dealing with this situation you first need to know how to answer this question:

Are you sure you really want to go back?

In fact, it is common that in the event of a breakup, one of the two wants, at least for a while, to resume. It may be a common response to the idea of drastic change. Fear of the new life to come may make trying to stay in the relationship seem the safest option. That is why it is necessary to think carefully, to let things cool so that you can really understand if that is what you really want.

“It is natural for the party involved to want to come back and want to win back their love. In this case, it is important for the person to evaluate the real reasons why they want to return because often the pain of loss is less than the pain of insecurity that the relationship caused ?, advises Silvana.

Think about it, do you really love him and want to live with this relationship again?

Or are possessiveness and insecurity talking louder and you don't want to miss your thing?

"I'm determined, I want to win him back?"

After thinking it over, have you decided that this is really what you want? win back your love. If you are resolved, be prepared: it may not be an easy goal to achieve, and even with no guarantee that it will work, you will need a good deal of control and self-awareness.

Since each encounter is unique, there is no formula for getting a relationship back on track. Especially when what is at stake is the end of a relationship, and each ends for one or several specific reasons.

So there is no way to suggest a step by step or say how best to resume your relationship. The main thing to do may be to meditate a lot on why you should resume, if that is what you want, why you want it, and above all realize what went wrong and strive to fix it.

10 tips to help you win back your love

1. Regain your love (self!)

As cliché as this sentence may be, the truth is that you will be much nicer if you love yourself. Of course, it can't be said that this is just a snap of the fingers and suddenly a super self-esteem. But the fact is that it is difficult to be attracted to a person without the least confidence and not value yourself. Getting enough on your own is your first challenge.

2. Call for a conversation

Resolving previous problems is essential to any attempt to return to the relationship in a healthy way. If you believe that there are real reasons to invest in this love, it is time to be humble and honestly dialogue with your ex, without pointing guilty, without judging attitudes and behaviors. Listen to what he has to say, what are the reasons that led him to break up and if he intends to resume ?, says relationship coach Silvana Rangel.

3. Don't beg

If he is playing hard, it will do no good to beg and roll at his feet. He has already given up on you, so knowing that you are still available probably won't make him want to push himself. It may be difficult to hold on to such an impulse on an unexpected encounter, for example, but you will have to really control yourself to avoid these urges.

4. Leave him without news from you

It may be a good tactic that will at least generate a curiosity on his part to know what you are doing that he is unaware of. Don't expose yourself too much on social networks, don't try to get attention? he will know or at least suspect that you are doing this for him. If there is still any interest from him, the lack of information about his activities will surely bother him.

5. Know if this possibility really exists

It's no use making a mistake that he will succeed or that he wants if he doesn't give the slightest sign of it. There is always a possibility that he is disguising, but trust your intuition only moderately.If he's already in a new romance or something, it's probably not the best time, and you may have to be cold-blooded and see if this other relationship will last.

6. Finish off situations he didn't like

It won't do much good to try to win him back by behaving the same way he displeased him before. If you have decided that you want to resume this relationship, you must think that if he did not accept certain things before, and was able to end, nothing will stop him from giving up again. Then you will need a good deal of patience and tolerance, as well as the flexibility to accept to change things in yourself.

7. Identify what went wrong

One of the most difficult attitudes is to get away from the situation so that you can see the real reasons for this separation, where those reasons began and ways to resolve them. Searching for the guilty, as well as insisting that the other was responsible will not solve anything and the suffering will only extend without anyone understanding. You will have to be extremely honest with yourself and have the courage to take on your shortcomings in addition to accepting theirs.

8. Do not contact him

Cut the bonds with him, at least for a while. If you have children, do not use them at all to create links beyond what is necessary between you? no one gives love out of obligation or blackmail. You may make it clear to him at some point that you want to get back in the relationship, but just once is enough. If he really liked you, he won't forget you anytime soon. It is best if he misses you and tries to know you than he is bombarded with messages and phone calls.

9. Live your life

Interesting people have their own lives to care for rather than others to fulfill their responsibilities and goals. When you first met you were indifferent to any dependence on each other, and that's how you liked each other. He must want to come back with the person you are and not just for what they created together.

10. Keep track

You will feel jealousy, longing, anger and yet another series of crazy feelings. You will need to learn to control yourself intensely. There may be a day when you wake up wanting to call him and explode at once! Such a slip can put everything to lose. It will take a lot of emotional control to achieve your goal. Do exercises, yoga, meditation. Schedule your day well so that you don't have idle moments that can make room for wrong thoughts and attitudes.

But all these tips will only work if you are constantly analyzing yourself. The process of regaining is nothing more than an achievement that starts from scratch, where you have the opportunity to act with more maturity, wisdom and understanding.