6 Signs That Your Marriage Will Last a Lifetime

At the end of movies, cartoons and even soap operas, it is normal to come across the following phrase "And lived happily ever after". Often the words are not there or they are not exactly, but the idea is implied: the story ended well and the characters in question together!

But is it so much prettier than watching beautiful, happy-ending novels on a movie or TV screen, is watching, in everyday life, truly beautiful love stories? not perfect, free from misunderstanding or some difficulties, but intense and, above all, real.

You know that old couple you see, for example, in the square, and are you sure? that they lived and still live a beautiful love story ?! Or even that man and woman who were recently married but you realize that they were made for each other because they simply show an incredible desire to stay together and make the relationship work?

Well, some couples do give signs that the marriage will last a lifetime!

And probably that's what most people want: to have a really lasting relationship. But isn't that just love? Respect, friendship, companionship, patience, among other feelings and attitudes, are fundamental factors.

In theory, it is simple. But in practice, not always men and women? even if they like each other? they can keep the marriage going 'until death do us part'. And the reasons for this are numerous, as well as, of course, particular to each couple.

But some tips can help! So if you are unsure if your marriage can indeed last for years and years, until the end of their lives, try to pay attention to some details of the relationship?

Below is a list of some of the possible signs that your marriage will last a lifetime!

1. You are friends, but you respect each other's individuality.

Do you get along well with your husband and, daily, you talk about the most varied subjects (from the most banal, relaxed, to more serious and controversial topics) ?! Great, does it show that you are good friends and have intimacy? key points for a relationship to work.

Celia Lima, holistic psychotherapist and expert of Personare, explains that when two people come together, the ideal is that living together promotes just that: closer intimacy and friendship. "The issues that directly impact the good cohabitation between the couple should be naturally shared, but it is illusion to imagine that absolutely everything is shared, because it is also healthy that the individuality is preserved," he says.

According to the professional, it is wrong to think that the partner meets all the desirable qualities. It is necessary to understand and accept that there are subjects that can be better divided and understood between friends than between the couple itself. ? Sharing everything is not a condition for the durability of relationships, and unions based on this premise tend to be controlling relationships, since behind? Everything? Can you hide some insecurity or the desire to possess even the thoughts of the other ?, explains Celia.

Therefore, friendship and intimacy between the couple are undoubtedly important, but this should not justify why one wants to invade the privacy of the other.

If you understand and accept that the man you married is a person who has his own feelings, desires and needs? what should be respected? and he, in parallel, has the same understanding about you, everything indicates that the relationship is? on the right track ?!

2. Do you share daily tasks or do them together?

The evolution of social relations no longer allows tasks today to be understood as female tasks or male tasks within the family. What was once understood as man's role? provide the family financially? can no longer be used as an excuse to burden the woman with household chores and childcare responsibilities. Also because the woman is inserted in the job market and also wants to take care of her career ?, explains Celia Lima.

According to the psychotherapist, modern couples make deals all the time and share all the tasks or perform them together. "This is important even in guiding children who will learn from their parents about solidarity and companionship," he says.

Even couples who choose not to work, Celia Lima adds, should be aware of their commitment to their children."It is important for the good affective development of children that both parents are also present at meetings, school parties and other social commitments," he explains.

So, it is important to stop and see if you and your husband are really being mates. And if the answer is positive, great, is this another sign that your relationship is going well?

3. You are aware of your own feelings and the feelings of the other.

Many people are afraid that? Marriage will fall into routine? and with that, the desire to be together with the other ends. But woman and man must know that they can do each their own part. so that does not happen.

Celia Lima points out that it is not very difficult to realize that a relationship is falling into routine. “Just be aware of yourself, feelings of dissatisfaction, boredom, and realize when you secretly complain: 'again,' he says.

But, explains the psychotherapist, a hint of creativity and a lot of dialogue can avoid the stress that routine promotes in relationships. "People, without realizing it, think that because they are married, they are" guaranteed. " For I say that it is from marriage that challenges begin, and we must not understand by challenge something difficult. Rather, it is the challenges that help couples mature and strengthen relationships. But as I said, you need to pay attention to your own feelings and also the reactions of your partner, since what is good for one, is not necessarily good for both ?, highlights.

That way, if something in the relationship is not cool for you, take the initiative to talk to your husband. Also always be open to listening to him. If you feel that for one reason or another, the marriage is "falling into rut", make suggestions that might change this picture: propose a trip or a simple outing; do something you never did together; surprise your partner in some way and have the freedom to ask them to do the same.

But if dialogue is common between you and you both strive to make the relationship never cease to be interesting? and so that both parties are satisfied, positive point for your marriage!

4. Do you use disagreements to improve the relationship

A lasting marriage is not synonymous with a perfect relationship without fights and disagreements. Undoubtedly, misunderstandings end up occurring between people living together, it is virtually inevitable.

"And this is healthy as the couple uses these disagreements to make the relationship more" round ", so that the agreements are renewed and so that one gets to know the other better," says Celia Lima.

But when the disagreement turns into a fight and, if it becomes recurrent, it can no longer be said that there is health in the relationship. • Many people deliberately trigger stress points; others feel in a ring where someone always has to win the argument, and when someone has to win, both lose. Whoever always wants to be right is not thinking about the couple, but only about being right. Is this healthy ?? says the psychotherapist.

So the key is to visualize, in the possible misunderstandings that occur between husband and wife,? Alternative paths? that can strengthen the relationship. Will couples proposing this probably have a long road? to go together? ahead!

5. Do you recognize when you need to discuss the relationship?

Since no one is perfect, the wife will not always be able to please her husband; as well as he won't do everything exactly as she expects. As already mentioned above, disagreements will inevitably occur. However, a couple should remember that dialogue is fundamental in all relationships.

• Exchanging ideas, cutting edges and making deals as needed helps the couple mature and get closer. This is not to say that with every event you need to stop and talk, but couples who don't let the little things bother them later can avoid the endless "DR". Discuss the relationship Is it desirable when one or both parties feel that something is not right at the heart of the relationship ?, explains Celia Lima. "The important thing here is to avoid accusations and always reflect on how much each one can take responsibility for their part in the return of the harmony of the relationship," adds the psychotherapist.

So don't be alarmed if you and your husband eventually need to "discuss the relationship." This is not the problem, but a sign that you like and care about marriage.

6. Are you willing to learn from each other?

It is misleading to think that the couple who squanders happiness or who is always showing affection is a candidate for a lasting relationship. “No one knows what goes on between four walls, not even inside each one. Those who unite always want the relationship to be lasting, but don't always know how to make it happen ?, observes Celia Lima.

The psychotherapist explains that each person takes with them the relationship model they have experienced at home and usually tends to reproduce what they know. • If the person has a positive reference in their family of origin, it will be easier to lead their own relationship in softer ways. If, however, the family reference is conflicting relationships, full of fights, jealousy, provocations or aggression, it is important to be careful not to reproduce what certainly caused suffering?

Celia points out that a relationship is made up of two people, each carrying their own values ​​and references. The beauty of relationships is precisely how much one can learn from one another and about oneself. Those who understand that love is only a part of the success of a union have also understood that it is necessary to build and preserve the relationship in its many facets. The more aware of this the couple is, the greater the likelihood of a lasting union ?, concludes the psychotherapist.

Therefore, if you and your partner already know how to look within, recognizing your own mistakes; you cherish dialogue and always try to learn from your own failures, and also from each other's failures, you are, in fact, maturing together and giving value to marriage. And of course, helping to make the relationship last.

11 Signs Your Love Will Last a Lifetime (April 2024)