Having friendship with someone is common that we have a lot of freedom and intimacy to say anything, be it to the person you are friends with or something about someone you know. But can the freedom of close friendships mean anything at all?
Comments directed at women, in particular, tend to be cruel, as society demands an ideal standard of beauty and behavior that is often reflected in certain comments. Female rivalry, unfortunately, is still a reality and is reinforced when one woman says certain things to another or yet another.
Certainly many of these comments are made with the best of intentions and just to help, but thinking twice before making a comment is valid to avoid hurting the listener. Are some comments on how the person should dress, do a regime or not, behave in certain situations, among others, are really necessary? It is worth reflecting.
25 Things Women Should Stop Talking About Each Other
The point is not to make rules about what a friendship should be like or about things you shouldn't talk about at all, but to point out some phrases that can be problematic. Trying to impose your own experience on someone else from comments about what is right for you is not cool, because that may not be right for that person.
Check out 25 things women should stop talking about and about each other. Also check out why these comments can be harmful:
Read also: 14 things that expect you to do, but you are not obligated
1. You need to take more care of your body if you want to get someone
By saying this phrase to a single friend who is looking for someone, you are saying that she is only alone because of her physique and also states that women can only enter a relationship if their bodies match the beauty standard.
Another point is that single women are not necessarily looking for a relationship and being single does not mean unhappiness. "It's a big mistake to think that everyone depends on being with someone to be happy, if she wants to be alone, respect that," comments psychoanalyst Cristiane Maluf Martin.
2. That way you will stay for aunty
This phrase is used to disapprove a woman's behavior and to justify that a certain attitude will prevent her from having a relationship. Usually the phrase? You are very picky? is also inserted in this context. If your friend is being picky when looking for a relationship, she is aware that she deserves someone who provides a satisfying relationship and will accept no less.
As stated above, not being in a relationship does not mean being unhappy. Therefore, being auntie should not be viewed as a bad thing, since people have different goals and priorities in life.
3. Take off your clothes if you don't want to look promiscuous
Wearing certain clothing is not synonymous with certain behavior. You must also ask yourself what is the meaning of promiscuous to you. If you believe that promiscuous is a woman who enjoys casual sex, for example, there is nothing wrong with your friend having this behavior. The bad thing is to express judgment about the clothes your friend likes to wear or her likes.
Also read: 10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Friend
You may not even like to wear certain types of clothing, but you should not make comments that might hurt your friend as each person likes something specific. It is not because you are friends that you need to like the exact same things.
4. Who doesn't give assistance loses to the competition
Phrase generally used to blame a woman for a man's betrayal or to claim that a woman must meet all her mate's whims if she does not want to be replaced. This phrase is very problematic and must be extinguished from vocabulary for a number of reasons. It's not just the woman's responsibility to take care of the relationship, so no one is guilty of being cheated on.
If your friend has been cheated on and you say that to her, it will probably only make her even more depressed. We women already blame ourselves too badly for many things that happen, we don't need other women to blame us either. When talking to a betrayed friend, never say anything that makes you understand that it was her fault.
5. But doesn't your boyfriend / husband care that you go out alone?
Doesn't care and shouldn't care.Being in a relationship does not mean that the woman cannot leave the partner unaccompanied. "When there is complicity in a relationship and security, the fact that one party goes out alone will not interfere with the relationship," comments Cristiane.
6. Your biological clock is ticking. Isn't it time to have children?
If the woman's intention is to have children, surely she is already aware that there is a time for this to happen, so this sentence becomes unnecessary. On the other hand, if the woman does not wish to have children, her choice must be respected and charges should not be made. "No one is forced to be a mother just because she was born a woman," comments Cristiane. "Don't try to diminish your friend because she doesn't want to be a mother, it doesn't make her any less of a woman," she adds.
Read also: 10 ways to thank that friend who has been with you since childhood
7. Better to have a male friend than a female friend, because a woman is a fake
This sentence reinforces the idea that friendships between women are superficial and there is always competition, envy and falsehood, which is not true. We are taught to compete with each other from a young age, for advertising and even for those who educate us, but it needs to end. Friendships between women are not only possible, they can be amazing.
Friendships between men and women can also be amazing. The difference is that the experience of men and women is very different in many things, so having female friends is to share with them similar experiences. If someone shares the same experience with you, empathy is much more likely to happen.
8. If you are dressed like that, why do you mind being sung in the street?
The clothing a woman is wearing never justifies harassment, since the harassment is to blame. All have the right to have their bodies respected, regardless of the clothes they like to wear.
9. Don't you think it's time to make a regimen?
Wanting to control someone's weight is very bad, as each person knows what is best for them. Avoid imposing any kind of rule on other people, after all, nobody wants to live the way someone else has outlined. "Avoid wanting to control the other's weight or hair or dress, for example," recommends Cristiane.
Society may even preach an ideal standard of beauty, but being fat is not a bad thing. "Be sensitive to see your friend beyond what society imposes as right or wrong and love her without judgment," adds Cristiane. Whether or not your friend wants to change weight is up to her.
Also read: 15 TV series featuring amazing women as protagonists
10. You have to be hard to win it
There are no rules to follow in flirting as it does not consist of a game. Every woman knows what is best for her when flirting, so don't impose rules for your friend to follow.
11. You would look better wearing less or more makeup
The choice of wearing makeup or not should only be the woman in question. Being a woman is no reason to be compelled to wear makeup and there is no limit to the amount of makeup that should be worn. Every woman knows what she likes, and imposing personal taste on other women's preferences is very bad.
12. Why didn't you tell me anything about that boy you were with?
Your friend is not required to tell you all the things she does, and that doesn't mean your friendship is any less important. It may be that this event was not so relevant to her that it was even forgotten.
13. You need to learn to cook
Stop and think if you would say that to a male friend, probably not. Society preaches that women should be able to cook and do household chores in general, but there is nothing wrong with not knowing or disliking food, cleaning, washing and ironing. Do not cover other women or devalue them for refusing or being clumsy while doing housework.
14. When will you push him to get you married?
This phrase is commonly spoken to women who have been dating for some time. If they have not yet married it is because there is some reason and one of them may be the desire not to marry at that time. Don't assume that the woman you've been dating for years is crazy about getting married and that for marriage to happen she must put pressure on her mate. Getting married is a decision that must come from the couple and no one should say that there is a right time for it.
15. Why are you still alone?
If a woman is not in a relationship it may be because she wants to be alone. There is no age limit for being single or a maximum time to enter a relationship after leaving another.
16. You look beautiful! Did you lose weight?
Unless you know that the woman in question was looking for weight loss, saying that she has lost weight is no compliment. She may, for example, have lost weight due to an illness and not liked it. Talking about weight is generally impolite and can end up hurting.
17Don't be sad, you're much prettier than her
The above sentence is usually said when a woman? Loses? a man to another woman in order to raise her friend's self-esteem. Saying this is problematic because it states that all qualities of a woman should be summed up in how beautiful she is, and the phrase also states that the other woman does not deserve the man in question for not being as beautiful as her friend.
18. If you didn't want to get pregnant, take care
There are numerous contraceptive methods, but they all have a chance, even if minimal, of failure. Even when combined and used perfectly, accidents can happen and that doesn't mean the woman didn't warn herself. The phrase also assumes that the responsibility for contraception rests solely with the woman, when in fact the responsibility must be divided between the two.
19. She slept with the boss, so she has this position
To say this is to belittle all the qualities of the woman in question as a professional and also to say that women can only hold a high position if they use seduction to achieve it. Women can and should achieve more and more prestigious positions based on their professional qualities.
20. Ask your boyfriend / husband
This phrase is commonly said when a woman tells the other woman how much she wants a particular item, but for some reason cannot buy it at this time. This kind of comment reinforces the idea that a woman depends on her partner financially and that she does not have to work hard to buy a desired item, as she has a man by her side to satisfy all her wishes.
21. You need to be more feminine
Being female does not mean being feminine. No one is less female because they do not like to wear props, skirts, dresses, makeup and other items that are considered feminine. Respect the option of the woman who has decided not to follow femininity standards.
22. You were so beautiful with long hair, why did you cut it?
Long hair is no prettier than short hair and if your friend has decided to cut it is because that was her will and you must respect her. Saying she was prettier before the move could end up hurting her friend.
23. How do you combine work, housework, marriage, and children?
The answer is simple, as men do too. Once homework, children, and caring for marriage are not seen as the sole obligation of women, they can also devote themselves to work. How about asking if your friend's husband is taking part in these activities as much as she is, instead of asking the question for this item? When the couple has an equal share in the tasks mentioned, no one gets overwhelmed and both can dedicate themselves to their work.
24. She's too old for that
Phrase usually goes when a mature woman wants to do or wear something that does not seem appropriate for her age, such as wearing a short outfit for example. Keep in mind that the ideal clothing for every age is one that the woman feels good wearing. No one is too old to use or do things that will bring happiness.
25. Calm down, that's no reason to be exalted
If your friend is exalted, surely she has her motives. Respect and try to reassure her, but without giving up the reason that made her angry. You have your reasons for not getting excited about a certain type of situation, your friend may have others to get excited about.
When we realize how problematic some comments may be, we focus more on praising dear women than judging. When we judge an unknown woman we lose the opportunity to make incredible friendships. Women's competition is detrimental to all and must end. So love your friends (and enemies) without imposing rules and without judging them.
99.9% Of All Women Are Turned On If You Say "THIS" | Tested For 2019 (April 2024)
- Woman's Day
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