Would you believe it if someone told you that last romantic comedy you watched is not as innocent as it sounds, and may even have negative consequences for your life ?!
It seems really strange, after all, reading a book, watching movies at home or at the movies are superpositive habits, and pleasant. But to give you an idea, the influence of romantic comedies on some people's lives has been the subject of several important researches.
A study at Heriot-Watt University in Scotland, for example, found that watching romantic comedies could leave people with unrealistic expectations about their real-life relationships.
The research was done in a fun way and, analyzing 40 hits from the romantic comedy genre, identified some common concepts in this type of film, such as: "couples fall in love instantly"; "In the end, destiny always unites people who love each other"; Is there just one perfect match for each person? among others.
The researchers then placed about 100 volunteers to watch "Star Writing," while another 100 watched a David Lynch drama. In a post-session questionnaire, it was clear that anyone who saw romantic comedy displayed much stronger convictions in romantic concepts? as the idea of? destiny? etc. ? than the others.
But should such a study really be taken seriously? Can romantic comedies really influence a person's opinions and / or desires?
Personare expert psychologist Thais Khoury explains that everything that comes in the form of media (movies, TV, print, music) influences the worldview, public opinion and behavior of most people, especially women? which, over time, have become a much-exploited target for advertising.
But, the psychologist adds, it would be unfair to blame only romantic comedies for influencing desires and opinions. They are more a cultural upkeep than an innovative cultural production exactly. Just maintain a pre-existing social functioning pattern from a time when children's tales like Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, among others? widespread in the West for centuries? they already built the identity of women and men on a model of perfect and idealized relationship. Note that we are focusing on women, but men are not immune to this model ?, explains.
Below are some ideas that most romantic comedies convey as absolute truths that, in a way, may negatively influence the way women come to see a real love relationship.
1. Every woman should wait for her? Prince charming?
This is probably the most common illusion romantic comedies create in a woman and is related to the idea that there is a "perfect match". for every person in this world.
Thais Khoury explains that this kind of delusion can negatively interfere with one's desires and even behaviors. Women and men go through life without experiencing love, for they are waiting for their princes and princesses, with all the perfection that these ideas imply. Lonely, they become too rigid about the look, possessions, and manner the ideal person should have. And so they deprive themselves of more true and human relations?
2. Only the woman who marries is totally happy
Most romantic comedies end in marriage, don't they? Which, to some extent, underlines the idea that a woman can only be happy if she finds a man to marry.
? Although new forms of relationships are being born today and also a different look at what constitutes a family core, marriage and sexuality, there is still a long way to go towards the release of these references and the possibility of enhancing quality. of relations ?, highlights Thais.
The psychologist explains that, nowadays, it is possible to observe a growing female movement that questions and directly disputes the importance of the relationship with a man, what models she follows, the idea of having or not children, the way these children will be among many other sectors of women's lives?
Still according to Thais, the woman who seeks the relationship with the? Enchanted prince? ? surely he will marry her? she puts herself in a trap that prevents her from often finding a life partner or even a mate.
3. Professionally successful women take time to find someone
Stories of journalists, lawyers, businesswomen who work hard and therefore don't have time to relate are featured in many romantic comedies. Which implies the idea that women should choose between career and love relationship, as they can hardly walk together.
However, this cannot be seen as a rule at all! Surely there are many successful people out there who have found someone special, as well as others who? regardless of their profession and their time at work? are still single (maybe even by choice).
You have to get away from thoughts like, "To find someone special, you have to give up my job," "Men don't like women who work too much." etc. It is crucial to have personality, pursue your goals and never deposit your dreams and projects solely on a possible perfect relationship.
4. Opposites (always) attract
This is a popular phrase and may even make sense. But what one cannot believe is that this is a rule. To think that the person you have a hard time living with at work should be your? Prince charming? since you live disagreeing with everything; Or, that you, who are more sociable, like to go out, etc., need to find a quiet man, shy, so that dating works, among other ideas, are much shown in romantic movies, but are not always real?
There is a great possibility that you will get involved with a person who has the same tastes as you, who likes to hang out, who is easy to communicate, etc., just like you! After all, each case is a case and there are no rules when it comes to relating and falling in love with someone!
5. Hate always turns to love
Much of the romantic restraint begins with quarrels, disagreements, between a man and a woman who? can we soon realize? are the protagonists and will end together at the end of the movie!
But does this really happen in real life? Sure, there may be isolated cases, but in general, hardly a man whom you consider unbearable or who for some reason offended you in a fight or argument will become? The love of your life? In a few days.
6. To be love, you must also have pain
Many films show stories of couples who love each other but have separated (for a time) for different reasons, such as: because they live far away; the family does not accept the relationship; The woman must give up her love for a friend who is also in love with him. because they fight so much; because one does not accept the work of the other etc.
But the truth is, love doesn't have to rhyme with pain! Can romantic movies often be expected to display such stories so that there is an interesting drama to watch? But fortunately, having a great romance can be quite peaceful and peaceful. So don't wait for unnecessary complications!
7. If he falls in love with you, he can totally change
Who has never watched a movie in which the protagonist? initially considered the typical "chicken man", uninterested in any kind of serious relationship? fall in love and change your personality from day to night ?!
It is not impossible for a man to change his behavior in order to become a more behaved person to pursue a serious relationship, but it hardly happens overnight.
After all, no woman has the power to change a man. Just as a man cannot change a woman. However, it is true that, if it is in both parties' interests, the two may be striving to be together, modifying certain behaviors that could prevent the relationship from working out, but never changing the way they are.
Important tips for watching a romantic comedy without delusion
As Thais Khoury has already pointed out, it would be unfair to blame only romantic comedies for influencing wishes and opinions. And watching this kind of movie won't be a negative habit if the viewer knows how to separate fiction from reality!
The tip of the psychologist is: question. What is a relationship? How have I learned to relate throughout my life? Is this way satisfactory? Can I bond and have intimacy in my affective relationship, in my marriage? What would be a perfect relationship for me? How much do I idealize my relationship and my partner?
Thais points out that as long as there is an ideal of perfection, the bond will be damaged and expectations extremely high? which will certainly lead to frustration. • Relationship can be very good and very enriching without the expectation of perfection. We can be more human, we can make mistakes and apologize, we can have sad and moody days, with the certainty that, even then, someone loves us and is loved by us, despite the differences?
Thus, it is clear that watching romantic comedies is not a problem.“The problem is never wondering where our cultural and social values come from and whether we are satisfied with the way we have been shaped in society, family and affective relationships. We need to ask ourselves what is affection and how are we expressing and receiving it?
With all this in mind, there is an important question to think about: Are our expectations for a loving relationship, after all, our own or are the expectations of our parents, friends, community and society ?! It is worth reflecting!
Kismet- Lesbian Romantic Comedy (May 2024)
- Dating, Relationships
- 1,230
