Fathers and mothers know how hard it is to deal with their tantrums. Give in to the pressure? Go back on what was said? Promise something in return if they stop? Give or not give attention? There are many doubts that arise at these times.
Tantrums are common and are part of the development of children, especially in the 2-4 year stage, either because they have heard a 'no', out of frustration, hunger or various other reasons. The reaction is to scream, cry, kick, whether or not they are in public places.
Behavior often drives adults out of their minds, causing a mixture of shame, anger, pity, and despair. The only solution is to learn how to handle it the best way. Here are some tips:
1. Ask your child to put their feelings into words
When the tantrum happens, it is important to help the child put into words the feelings or sensations he is having at that time. Many times nervousness is because you are feeling something and cannot express it. It could be hunger, for example. Then talk eye to eye, ask if he is hungry (or another option), so he will learn to speak what he wants.
2. Do not abandon the child
Leave the child crying quietly or pay attention to the tantrum she makes? The ideal, experts say, is to stay with the child so that he does not feel abandoned, especially if it is in a public place. But if you are at home, in a safe space, you can take a distance (such as going from living room to kitchen) and show that you will leave it alone for a while.
Read also: How should I deal with each type of crying child?
3. Trust your intuition to know whether or not to hug your child.
Opinions are controversial. There are experts who say it is good and others who say no. Stroking the tantrum can help calm down but, on the other hand, can reinforce negative behavior. It is your heart that will say. If you feel he needs it, hug him. But if there's no feeling of sadness and it's just a baseless tantrum, it's not necessary.
4. Don't do what the child is asking
No matter how long the tantrum lasts. If the child is doing or asking for something inappropriate, do not give in. This will be bad for you as well as for her.
5. Avoid the tantrum
If you already know that your child often has a temper tantrum for a reason, try to get around it and not let it happen. If the most common reason is hunger, for example, take a snack before you leave, always take something the child can eat in an emergency. So you anticipate and can avoid some tantrums.
6. Follow what you said to the child
In public places you may need to leave. In such cases, tell the child that if they keep doing it, they will not continue on that program (a mall, a park, etc.). But if you warned that you would leave, go. Even if you end up depriving yourself of something you wanted to do, it is important to do what is said for the child to understand the cause and consequence relationship.
7. Identify and address the tantrum reason
If the intensity and frequency of the tantrums are too large, see if there is any reason. It may be some family difficulty, some change in the child's routine, among other factors. Try to identify and solve, thus eliminating the cause of tantrums.
Read also: 5 Things Parents Shouldn't Tell Children
8. Try not to lose your temper
It's not easy, but when your child is exalted, you have to stay calm. He may not realize that he has driven you out of his mind, because the moment you get out of your mind, you lose control of the situation. Having patience is the first step in curbing the temper tantrum.
Talking to a pedagogue or psychologist can also help. The most important thing is to know how to deal with these complicated moments and help the child get through them without trauma.
How to Deal with Tantrums - Seattle Mama Doc 101 (April 2024)
- Children and adolescents
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