Aesthetic interventions, crazy diets, personal dissatisfaction and incessant fighting with the mirror. Living coveting other bodies and being judged not to look like the celebrities that illustrate magazine covers is really exhausting for most women.
Not surprisingly, Brazil is the champion country in number of plastic surgeries, according to data from the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS), released in July 2014. The great demand for the scalpel, largely due to the standards established by the media, which give women a sense of discomfort and inadequacy.
Combined with these factors, psychologist and eating disorder specialist Luciana Kotaka mentions the greatest payment facilities offered today and the sale of products that can provide physical change for women, ranging from supposedly miracle drugs to dubious devices.
However, charges are not restricted to body parts that can be changed at some cost. Fashion and behavioral journalist Nathalia Birkholz points out that in Brazil, the imposition of beauty standards still diminishes the representativeness of some social groups, especially with regard to ethnicities and races:? This stimulates self-rejection, not healthy ? he says.
Unfortunately, being aware of these causes is not always enough to lessen the demands on women. ? The experience is unique and particular ?, says the psychologist,? Wanting to change the external excessively can cause emotional instability and insecurity ?. In this way, the path to well-being is transformed into a daily exercise in which much love and self-acceptance is required.
In theory, it is very easy to just say that you are not required to undergo numerous aesthetic procedures and make the fad diet to look more like a famous one, but in practice dealing with these impositions is very exhausting and often Sometimes frustrating. Nevertheless, mentalising some things can help you get through this with a little more serenity.
1. Work your self esteem
Starting with the big challenge: fight insecurity, learn to like yourself, and value yourself. "Being beautiful and feeling good goes far beyond the appearance of the face and body, it also involves the positive feelings we have about ourselves and the ability to cope with imperfections," explains Kotaka.
If you can't handle your self-esteem at all and are really dissatisfied with who you are, consider seeking professional help. The psychologist warns that there is a very thin line between what is healthy and what is pathological, so a therapist can help you understand yourself better.
2. Know who you are
You are your best friend! And, oddly enough, the mirror may be by your side! Instead of spending long minutes watching and mourning the pimple that appeared, the right eye being larger than the left, the oversized cheek or the bulging belly, why not invest your time in a little compliment? Discover your most pleasing features and when you are dissatisfied with any part of your body, channel your thinking to what you like, including personality traits!
In this exercise, the intention is not to "disguise weaknesses", it is to learn to like you as you are, albeit in parts. It's also a good idea to break your own rules and give your items a chance that might not get you so much attention: play with lipsticks, eyeliner, different pieces of clothing and let yourself be surprised. Don't like your lips? Try on a lipstick color you've always loved in others, for example, and allow yourself to like it in you!
3. Learn to deal with compliments
Be it for shame or for really disagreeing with flattery, but stop answering them modestly. Accept them and then it is worth even to reflect on what you have been told. It's okay to admit that, yes, you're beautiful.
4. Prioritize your health
In addition to all the psychological fatigue that life under pressure causes, subjecting yourself to crazy diets, exaggerated exercise, and too many or dubious interventions can also be detrimental to your physical health. Among cases of medical errors, rejection of materials by the body and other side effects, Luciana Kotaka cites the development of disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia and pregorexia.
Here it is worth asking: what is the use of doing everything by looking if you are at risk? In the case of dietary restrictions, it is also important to remember that your immunity is challenged, which increases vulnerability to disease.
5. You are unique
Have you noticed how restricted female media representations are? You may also have heard that the model with the slightly larger nose owns an "exotic beauty", right? The big point is that the world is a very plural place: people are definitely not the same. So what's the point of trying to change to be more like someone?
As if women were objects produced on a large scale, the intention is to reduce us to stereotypes, to separate and value us from our physical characteristics. However, it may be valid to think of something as cliché as the maxim - what would be yellow if everyone liked blue - there is beauty in diversity!
6. This is not a competition.
Living in a world where women are all the time ranked and ranked for their 'kind of beauty', it is absolutely normal to grow up thinking that we need to be prettier than our little friend, but there is one small detail that we conveniently forget about. if you tell women: this is not a competition!
As has been said before, there is beauty in diversity. And for that very reason, there is room for every kind of beauty in the world! No beauty needs to nullify the other in order to exist.
7. You are human
Perfection does not exist. Almost every photo we see today goes through various defect-fixing treatments and issues, and even women who print magazine covers have their shapeless hair days, wake up feeling awkward, or clash with the mirror.
Despite all of this advice, and as hard as you try not to fall into the fabric of beauty standards and impositions, it may happen that at some point you might with all your might have a little more thigh, bigger eyes or make a plastic in the ears. When this happens, don't blame yourself! But don't be fooled by these thoughts either, this is where the importance of self-knowledge lies: remember that body part you really like and focus on what is good for you!
8. You are not a bargaining chip
Finally, it is worth remembering that you are not obligated to anything. You don't have to follow trends, always make up, stop eating your favorite candy or wear the heel that hurts your heel if you're not in the mood.
Unfortunately, women are judged all the time for their looks and their behavior: society harasses those who do not fit traditionally considered feminine characteristics. However, it may be reassuring to think that, as A Dress A Day blogger Erin McKean has already written:? Being beautiful [in the imposed and standardized sense of the adjective] is not something you owe to anyone. You don't owe your boyfriend, husband, mate, you don't owe your co-workers, and most of all you don't owe strangers on the street. You do not owe it to your mother, your children, or civilization at large. Beauty is not a rent you pay for taking up a space in the world delimited as 'feminine'.
The grace of life, therefore, is in freedom. Just as you don't have to force yourself to fit into patterns, you are still free to choose what you think is right for you. None of this means that you should give up fashion, make-up, the gym, or a balanced diet if it makes you happy; The key here is to strike a balance between what is healthy and what can harm you.
“On a scale of importance, beauty is several steps below happiness, far below health, and if taken as a penance or an obligation, it passes far from independence, and you will have to rub your eyes to see it in the midst of it. in the fog? synthesizes McKean.
With a little attention to the recommendations made from the conversation with the psychologist Luciana Kotaka and the journalist Nathalia Birkholz, you can exchange the search for the magazine cover body for four other recommendations that can help you lead a less demanding life: love yourself, know each other, respect yourself and be happy!
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