Imagine the following situation: After some time in the relationship, you and your partner can no longer understand each other. Any subject is a matter for discussion or you have simply drifted away over the years.
At that moment begins a sacred way to try to recover the lost charm. Travel, romantic dinners and even children cannot solve the problem. But did you know that couple therapy can really help?
When it comes to therapy, the impression we have is that the relationship is already at an end, after all no one would look for this resource if there was another way to deal with the problem. But the truth is, in seeking this kind of solution, does the couple demonstrate that they are really willing to restore the feeling that united them? and that is very positive.
Admit the problem
While the other solutions (traveling, spending more time together, having children) are palliative and seek? Makeup? The real evil, therapy is the alternative for couples who can face the relationship head on and admit that there is a problem that needs to be resolved. This is the first step for husband and wife to achieve positive results.
In general, a couple who comes into contact with a therapist for both of them does it voluntarily, and that makes all the difference: it means that both are willing to give in as needed in the name of the love they think is going extinct.
To fight
Arguing is a normal process in any relationship. Even among friends, co-workers or family, discussion is an important part of the understanding process. The problem is when it is no longer just a debate but involves disrespect or personal attacks. In such cases, the focus is lost and the results are likely to be disastrous. This is where the couple therapist can work more autonomously, regulating the discussion so that it does not ignite.
To question
If a marriage does not go well, some key questions need to be answered in order to achieve successful therapy. Who are the two together? What repeats in the relationship? What united them? What threatens them at the moment?
After all, it is very painful to feel that the promise of happiness from other times no longer makes sense. ? According to psychoanalyst Anna Hirsch Burg, these questions help direct therapy so that the couple can objectively see the reasons that caused the relationship to cease to function.
Understand
There are no magic formulas for solving every problem in a marriage. Both need to be aware that any change will depend mainly on their willingness to recover the good times they had as a couple. Therapy will not lead to separation or reconciliation unless the couple is willing to do one thing or the other.
The sessions last about four months, but may extend depending on the need of the situation. Because it is fast, patients often become frustrated, as there was no immediate improvement. According to Anna, therapy is completed when the couple realizes that there is an unconscious agreement between them; thus, they fail to blame each other for the suffering in the relationship. When you put yourself in the other's place, the relationship becomes more creative and each other can reinvent themselves.
Anyway, couple therapy ends the moment each part of the? Orange? Do you decide to go about your life, together or apart from the other and knowing that the only truly irreplaceable person is herself?
The therapy doesn't work miracles, but it can help you if the problem is just the disagreement between the parties. Worth trying.
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