How to integrate children from different marriages

Forget that one family Margarine Commercial: Father, mother and very happy children around the breakfast table, while the day comes out beautiful through the window. The 21st century family broke away from these stereotypes and was eventually fragmented, giving rise to new types of family nuclei.

In a world that already naturally accepts issues such as divorce and the decision to formalize a new relationship after the separation, the calls?mosaic family? are increasingly common. It is important for couples to know how to handle the other's luggage from their previous marriage. Learning to live with the children your new boyfriend already has, while integrating your children with this new reality is an important step in building the new home. We've prepared five tips on how to make adaptation less traumatic and more assertive.

1 ? Respect is key

If you want your new boyfriend's children to respect yours, you need to lead by example. Seek to show interest? since authentic? by the activities of their stepchildren, and avoid comparing them to their own shoots. You should foster friendship among children, not rivalry. Comparisons and competitions are detrimental and can dislike each other.

2 ? Give time to time

It is not difficult to understand the reasons why a child rejects, at least initially, his or her new partner. In addition to the trauma of divorce, there is the jealousy factor. The children, although not so young, always bring with them a great attachment by their parents, which hinders the acceptance of a new relationship. Before making a decision to remarry, consider whether the news will not affect your children (and your partner's) too much. Notice, during dating, if they like the person you chose? and work out the idea of ​​marriage calmly, without rushing the steps. This will help in assimilating the new family setting, facilitating the adaptation of children and reducing the risk of problems.

3? Create rules

The couple must comply with some basic rules of coexistence, which will allow the family to develop in a healthy way. These rules should be debated away from children so that the couple does not lose authority before the children.

4? Son is one thing, stepson is another

It is no use wanting to extend your education concepts to your partner's children. It is important to support your partner and be willing to help as needed, but avoid directly influencing or giving your opinion about the decisions they make. If necessary, try to do so when you are alone, away from children.

5? Try to dialogue

Talking openly is the most appropriate way to create a family environment True and tranquil. Set aside a time of day? the dinner, for example? to get together and discuss topics that are important to children, their daily lives and the problems they may be facing at school, for example. Using a good mood can be a good way to deal with jealousy, for example.

Kids are authentic. If they do not like you, do not force an acceptance. Instead, try to show them that you want them well and win them by persistence, not by force.

MSL 86500 - Domestic Relations - Child Custody (April 2024)