How to avoid fights with your mother-in-law

If you have ever been in conflict with your husband or boyfriend's mother, you know how unpleasant it is to have to deal with this kind of situation. The mother's influence on being loved is a common factor in most relationships. This influence can be positive or negative depending on the type of relationship that develops between mother and child throughout life. At least that is what a recent study suggests.

According to another survey by psychologist Terri Apter of the University of Cambridge, England, about 60% of women have some sort of disagreement with their partners' mothers. Men who do not agree with the mother of their partners represent only 15% of those interviewed by her. The study was conducted by observing 160 people between 1985 and 2009, and gave rise to the book? What do you want from me ?? (? What do you want from me ??), published by WW Norman Publishing.

But what leads to the high rates of conflict between in-laws and daughters-in-law and how can we improve these relationships? As each case is a case, it is worth understanding the hidden motives behind the trouble and using common sense to lighten the mood.

Mother jealousy

Some may find the argument understandable to some extent. The woman bore her son and carried him for nine months.

After a few more years living with him in a reaction without external interference, another woman appears to? Disturb? the peace that reigned in this paradise. Many mothers thus see their children's spouses, and it is up to you to show her that you are an ally, not a competitor. Invite her to two shows, treat her like a longtime friend, and try not to speak ill of her son to her. Needless to say, this would be a real disaster.

Chase Mania

It may be that the culprit is not, in fact, the mother-in-law. It is often the daughter-in-law who, by entering a dispute that does not even exist, ends up hindering dialogue and good coexistence. In general, they both want to show that they are able to gain more attention from the man in question, and therefore fall out. If this is your case, give your boyfriend or husband's mother a chance. She may like you, but she doesn't know how to show it.

Old disagreements

Do many misfortunes come from a long time? something has happened in the past and left part or both with one foot behind. To solve this problem, dialogue is the best option. Sit down with your mother-in-law to talk about it, make it clear that you regretted it if you were to blame, or forgive her if you caused it.

Say that you want to forget the past so you can start a new phase for the sake of the whole family. Your mother-in-law is not a monster, she will know that you are acting with your heart and will probably let your guard down. Improving this relationship can also improve your relationship with your partner as they will realize how hard you are striving.

In-Law Conflict: Your Wife vs Your Mother (May 2024)