Anyone who talks about sex with friends or participates in debates around may already have left with some doubts. After all, what sexual frequency would be considered normal? Some people say they need sex constantly, another part is quieter about it, managing to stay for longer periods without the activity.
And that's where doubts arise. As with almost anything related to sex, when you see that other people don't behave the same way, your certainties can wince. And like everything else in sex, this frequency is a personal matter and depends on one's own experiences and needs.
In fact, female sexual frequency is closely related to her moment of life, to the type of relationship the woman is experiencing, in addition to past sexual experiences, explains Valéria Cavallari, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist: “One woman, in different Moments of your life may have a low or high sexual frequency and this is independent of your age. She may be in an unsatisfactory marital relationship and this will contribute to a low sexual frequency. Similarly, if you are in a satisfactory marital relationship, the sexual frequency will be higher. Is there a close relationship between married life and sex?
Does age influence sexual frequency?
According to research, two factors are most significant when talking about sexual frequency: age and type of relationship. Married women tend to have a more active sex life, while single women say they practice much less. Age groups also show substantial differences, such as a sharp drop after age 50.
It is natural for the number of relationships to decrease over a lifetime. Some factors that contribute to the fall in desire may be physical (such as the fall of hormones) or psychological, which affect 70% of women, such as the feeling of rejection, loss of vanity, excessive worry about children. , the lack of complicity between the couple, among others ?, commits Dr. Cristiane M. Maluf Martin, psychoanalyst expert in Couples Therapy.
But the same research shows that despite their older age, women in stable relationships continue to have sex even if the amount is reduced. On the other hand, single girls have very low numbers. This may mean that much of the female sexual frequency depends not only on age, but mainly on the type of relationship.
How much sex is enough?
The frequency of sex can depend on many physical, emotional and even social factors. We have already talked about age and type of relationship and how much they can influence in that regard. In the tables below we can see a survey by the Kinsey Institute that shows sexual frequency divided by age and relationship status by men and women. The numbers correspond to the percentage of men and women who answered each option.
In the table below are the data provided by the men who participated in the survey on the sexual frequency of who is or is not in a relationship. Comparing both tables, you can see that the difference between the data is small. Watch:
These are numbers of quantitative rather than qualitative research. So do not worry if your situation is not the same as shown in the polls. After all the only certainty is that each has their physical and emotional needs.
There is no scientific research to prove how much sex is enough for women. Most women think of sex differently than men. Women are much more mental, while men are absolutely visual. Sex begins in the heads of women. Therefore, they expect more from sex than the act itself. Frequency matters least. Above all, is quality? Declares Valéria Cavallari.
Dr. Cristiane Martin agrees and adds that there is no rule for sexual frequency. “We cannot fix the ideal amount of relationships since it depends a lot on person to person. When we talk about sexual intercourse we are talking about the sexual act between two people and not an individual act like masturbation. Therefore, several factors come into play, especially the bond, desire and intimacy of the couple and this is what will define the frequency of relationships between them ?.
How to know if your sex life is healthy?
What can be said about sexual frequency is research-based statistics. Each person has (and may have, without being different) their preferences and references, rarely becoming a physical or psychological problem.It will be up to you to see if your situation comes to a point that really bothers you and you seek medical analysis.
The amount of sex indicated is only necessary to meet your needs, whether physical or emotional, and does not fit into tables. More or less desire for sex than numbers does not mean that you have any form of dysfunction unless you reach critical levels.
1. Is sex being done for both of you?
Psychologist Valeria Cavallari warns that if you are constantly submitting to your partner's wishes, you may be corrupting. Sex is positive energy exchange and is good when everyone is in the mood. So if you are often having unwilling sex, you are being abused or are allowing yourself to be abused. Many women go through this and do not have the courage to change this condition. But is it important to know that the situation can become unsustainable and bring problems?
2. Is the problem physical or emotional?
Sex and married life rarely go apart. One has the ability to influence the other and affective problems can disrupt sex life and vice versa, as Dr. Cristiane explains: Sexual difficulties can greatly affect people and internal relationships. Does sexual functioning imply not just certain physiological responses, but a whole set of situational, personal, and relational variables.
3. Is it little?
Who answers is psychologist Valeria. “Each has its own rhythm, time, and need, but if you don't miss sex, you might have something wrong. Sex is part of life and is one of our most basic needs. Okay, we can underline it, but this is usually done by people who adopt a celibate lifestyle. But if this was not your choice, stop and rethink what may be happening, and if so, seek professional help?
4. Or is it too much?
Sex is important and is good, but everything has limits and it is always good to be careful not to turn into an addiction. If you lose focus on other important areas of your life such as work, family or sex-related health, you may need to seek psychological help.
5. Was it good for you?
Regardless of how much sex you have, single, married or coiled, young or mature, it is your satisfaction that should be the rule. So if you do a lot or do a little and are you okay with that? and, in the case of committed ones, is it also good for your partner? There is nothing to worry about.
For each woman's moment, each phase, the importance of knowing our own body and also our own history can make all the difference to choices of partners that please us and treat us well, as well as a happier, healthier sex life. . Take care of yourself, keep your self-esteem high and enjoy your seductive power at any age.
The opinion of married and single
“When I'm single, I end up doing little, spending up to three months with nothing because I don't like what they call casual sex. But when I'm dating this number goes up to at least twice a week, what do I think is a minimum frequency to meet my needs in normal times? Vanessa, 26, student. Dating.
“Twice a week is fine. It doesn't always last as long as I would like. But I think ten minutes with love is better than ten hours just slutty. Andreia, 36, accountant. Married.
For me the more the better. Until getting tired! At least once a week when I'm single and when I'm dating every day. I get cranky when I'm without sex, my hair looks bad, as does my skin. Juliana, 33, businesswoman. In a complicated relationship.
“I don't think it has that ideal frequency. I think I have more desire before the menstrual period. I usually have long periods without sex, two to three months. In the beginning it is most needed. If you already had an active sex life, do you tend to want the same constancy? Pearl, 29, journalist. Single.
“When I was married the frequency was two to three times a week. Single, decreased a lot because it has been difficult to find nice people. But I think a reasonable number would be five times a week? Monica, 50 years old, singer. Divorced.
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