Society and culture generally preach certain rules that every woman is supposed to follow to be considered, respected, and essentially exist in the world. But with each passing day, we struggle and push harder and harder to break this stereotype and have more freedom over our choices as women.
Being able to make one's own choices and living independently of a worshipful standard is the key to a happier, more authentic life, free of neurosis and pressure.
Psychologist Priscila Tenenbaum, cognitive behavioral therapist and director of Socio-Affective Learning in Rio de Janeiro, argues that it is very important that happiness be seen as something personal! She is in different places for different people. While some may say they will only be happy when they get married, others may be unhappy just because of it. Happiness is in everyday life. And not in the future or what if?
• Imposing conditions for happiness brings voids and dissatisfaction. But we are far from being free from happiness patterns. Nowadays with social media, does the neighbor's grass always look greener? And does comparative happiness seem ever more distant? clarifies the professional. She further advises that to be happy we need 4 As:
- accept (the different, the change, the challenges and the emotions);
- seize, (the moments, the opportunities);
- believe (in people, in yourself and in the future);
- and love (yourself and others).
To get rid of these impositions of society and our culture and pursue the path to happiness, check out some of the things that many people believe every woman is obliged to do, be or have and begin to rethink and deconstruct this feminine pattern that currently exists. Remember: life is yours and decisions are yours, everyone must respect their individuality, regardless of what you choose to do or not to do.
1. Tidy living
Who says you're bound to always have salon hair, painted nails, face makeup, heels, and new, trendy clothes? Society says all the time, but the right to walk dressed and groomed as you see fit is 100% yours. Dress as you please, how good and comfortable you feel. You are not required to dress up to fit the pattern of others.
2. Being in a relationship
Although things are improving in this sense, even today a woman alone, ie, not dating, not married or engaged, is it? No one? in the world. The case gets worse if she is a "single mother." Over time, with the arrival of 30, 40 years, family and friends put even more pressure on the life of women who do not live in search of having a man with her. If the woman doesn't want to date, leave her alone! Each one chooses what he wants to do with his own life. Single men at 40, on the other hand, are seen as? Wonderful people? and are not criticized.
3. Get married
If you don't know yet, it's good to know now: not every woman wants or dreams of getting married. Stop pitying? of women who never married. No woman needs to get married to have her existence or value as a human being validated by society. Each person has their goals and priorities in life, no one was born programmed to follow a certain roadmap in life.
4. Have children
Another myth surrounding women is that they all want and are required to have children. Especially women who get married soon after the beginning of their marriage life begins that pressure from family and friends to get pregnant. As good as the intention may seem, let everyone choose the right time and whether or not to have children. Putting pressure on is not cool. And respecting women who chose not to be mothers is also essential. Being a mother is choice and not feminine obligation.
5. Know how to cook
Does it mean that when a female baby is forming in her mother's belly, she automatically receives the magic genes of cooking? When did women receive the gift of cooking that men are not supposed to have? Both men and women may or may not know how to cook, and this is also a matter of choice. Do not think that responsibility for food is the duty of women. This is a personal matter and depends a lot on one's wants, abilities and needs.
6. Be solely responsible for the children
When a couple decides to have children or accidentally comes a new life on the way, the responsibility for caring is both and not just the woman.What is the male gene that keeps men from learning how to change diapers and put the baby to sleep? No one makes a child on their own, so both must cooperate.
7. Be solely responsible for domestic services
Another skill that for many years was believed to be women's only. When we are little, we often get those little housewife toys, such as pots and pans kits, and early in the day the pressure on the woman to take responsibility for domestic duties begins. Remember that men are also fully capable of learning how to clean and care for their clothes and that not every woman likes to do these services, so it is up to you to decide what you do depending on your need, skill and time. It is available. This is not necessarily an obligation of women.
8. Be? Feminine?
In general, it is considered that to be a woman? For real? it is necessary to be feminine. Considering the definition of feminine as something delicate, with long hair, full breasts, pylon waist, butt ass, zero cellulite, zero striations, nails always made and painted, and amen speech always ready, this nothing real woman looks but a doll. And who expects the woman to be like this does nothing more than expect the woman to be a robot or a decoration item. Each woman has her attributes, her way, her style. Live the differences, stop charging people to follow a pattern. We are people, not objects.
9. Be solely responsible for organizing the wedding.
When a couple decides to make the marriage official, they both have a duty to collaborate with the organization, especially if you have not hired a wedding planner. The ideal is to divide the tasks between the two, so no one gets overwhelmed and the marriage will have the special touch of both. Marriage is not just for the bride but for the couple. And if the man says he doesn't like these wedding things, why is he really getting married?
10. Be fragile
Every maiden must be fragile and seek a prince who protects her from the evils of the world. Not necessarily. The woman can and knows how to take care of her own nose and defend herself on many occasions. You do not necessarily need a man to protect you. Let go of Disney Princess Syndrome, unless you like and feel good about it.
11. Live for the body
Every woman should: live shaved, keep working out to keep thin, not eat to not get fat, live on a diet, spend lots of money in the salon and the like. Only not. Each one knows what they want for themselves and what they like to do or not to do. There are those who live happy being spotted, some who live happy being chubby, some who live happy with a body without curves, some who live happy with sharp curves. Each one has the body with which he was born or built according to his preference, the important thing is to respect the individuality of each one and not give an opinion about the body of others.
12. Have long hair
To be? Feminine? woman has to have long hair? Not necessarily. Use your hair the way you want it and don't let people keep your opinion on your cut. Whether it is short, long, medium, curly, curled, straight or wavy, with or without dreads, your hair is yours and it does not define if you are more or less female. Trust your taste and be true to your wishes without fear of being happy!
13. Avoid Rape
In the 21st century there are still many people who think that the obligation to avoid rape is the woman. "Don't leave home with a dress or short shorts," "Don't walk alone on the street." It is past time to identify, educate and punish the real agents of violence against women and stop pruning women's freedom. No means no! And short shorts doesn't mean the woman is wanting? or worse, who asked to be raped.
14. Will it be? Pure?
While for a man it is normal and even? Desirable? that he relates to various women, often even disrespectfully, any woman who relates to many men is badly criticized by society. Let's stop taking care of other people's lives and let each choose what is best for you, please? What about?
It is noteworthy that whether or not to do the things listed above is entirely up to you and must be respected. Each woman knows what is best for her and must follow her wishes and principles. Relax and be happy!
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