According to psychologist Michael Vincent Miller, negative emotional experiences that have been lived on one side of a relationship can affect the development of the relationship. Attitudes like the sense of possession and the excess of jealous, according to Miller, stem from a insecurity deep, usually originated in family relationships during childhood. Miller states that people with this type of behavior in adulthood generally had a troubled childhood and adolescence, and probably difficult relationships with parents and close people.
O jealousy it is a feeling of the human being, but it becomes a problem from the moment it ceases to be just a sporadic feeling to become a obsession constant.
A relationship should be viewed as a way to add positive values to your life. Serves you with companionship and support in various life-long situations, but cannot become a? Crutch? to meet emotional needs caused by previous trauma or loss. We must respect each other's individuality, and understand that there are a number of factors that make a person who he is. These factors are related to your past, your friendships, your past experiences and many other details that cannot be controlled by your partner.
Let's look at the process of possessiveness and pathological jealousy as a cycle. Low self-esteem and a lack of self-esteem make one see oneself as inferior, uglier, less intelligent or successful. These feelings of inferiority lead to insecurity in the relationships in which this person engages.
This insecurity mainly concerns the fear of losing the? Object? beloved ? in this case, the partner. The jealous comes to believe that? Does not deserve to be loved? and therefore will be exchanged for someone better. Insecurity in turn breeds distrust: one becomes suspicious of betrayal and sees everyday facts of the relationship as major problems. The greater the suspicion of an? Exchange? imminent, lower self-esteem? and so the cycle begins again, deepening deeper each time.
But what to do to deal with such complex feelings?
1 ? Take care of your self esteem
The maxim that you must first love yourself and then be loved by others fits perfectly here. Make a list of your key qualities and stick it somewhere visible? It may be the mirror or the wall in front of the computer, the idea is to see it many times a day to remember what is very good about you.
Everyone has flaws, even successful, beautiful and friendly people. The trick is to learn to live with them, trying to improve them when possible, but not being martyred for owning them. Got a crooked finger? Snore? Is it clumsy? Find your flaws and laugh at them, make fun of yourself. Nothing beats the mood? and its long term effects are wonderful for self esteem.
Men also love high-spirited women. Instead of pouting because a pretty woman passed by and her boyfriend looked out of the corner of his eye, make a humorous comment about it. He will come to admire you more and the quality of the relationship will rise without these silly and unnecessary discussions.
2 ? Relieve
It must be made clear: human beings look at what catches the eye. You look, your friends look, the bakery uncle looks, even your father looks. Why, then, would it be any different with your boyfriend?
There is nothing extraordinary about admiring what is obviously beautiful, you don't want to demand that your partner be indifferent to other women. Be more interested in respect itself. We are not saying that you should or should not forgive concrete betrayals, because that is a personal matter. But don't make a scandal because he looked an ass, or because he said he thinks Megan Fox is a cat. Learn to differentiate what is disrespectful and what is simply a human condition.
3? Control yourself
If it happens ? will happen ? Note that a situation x was not a lack of respect but still feel like starting a discussion, count to a thousand? or ten thousand. Sing a song mentally, nail your nails, read a book, anything. Exercise self-control. It is difficult, but over time you will notice that you are becoming a quieter and less anxious person, which is of benefit to your loved one and especially to your own health.
4? Seek Professional Help
If, even after trying the previous steps, you find that you have not been able to move forward, it is always worth seeking the help of a good therapist. Some traumas and deficiencies are so stigmatized in the mind that it is difficult to get rid of them alone.A psychologist or psychotherapist can help you better see the causes of your insecurity and finding the best way to deal with it.
Dealing With Jealousy (May 2024)
- Dating, Relationships
- 1,230
