Married, single, widowed and divorced: Everyone has a hunch to make about marriage. However, the truth is that every relationship is different, so what works for your 55-year-old great-aunt may not work for you.
What's more, some classic advice may no longer make sense in today's marriages, especially if we think about how much relationships between partners have changed, whether they are the opposite sex or the same sex. So here are seven rules that emotionally mature couples no longer need to follow these days:
1. If you do not satisfy him at home, he will look for another on the street
In addition to creating insecurity about your partner, this advice still puts sex as a resource capable of? Holding on? a wedding. Not to mention that, according to this rule, both partners would be forced to have relations, even unwillingly, at the risk of provoking a betrayal!
Although sex is a very important part of a love relationship, infidelity is often much more linked to the character and some psychological situation of the cheating person than to the number of sexual relationships she has with her partner. ?official?.
2. It's better to pretend to agree than to get in a fight
You really don't have to spend a week without talking to your partner because he left the toilet lid up, but that doesn't mean you should hide your preferences all the time just to avoid conflict.
Read also: 10 tips for having a positive attitude in relationships
Over time, the accumulated dissatisfactions eventually turn into resentment and a sense of nullity toward the partner, which is definitely detrimental to a marriage. Healthy relationships are not those in which there is no conflict, but those whose partners are able to find a solution to the differences.
3. Do not hide anything from your partner
Major health or financial concerns should really be shared with those who are living with you, as well as other aspects of the relationship itself. However, this does not mean that your life belongs to the partner and vice versa.
Remember that before you are a couple, you are two unique people, and you need to maintain a certain individuality so that you can relate. Therefore, both of you should set aside time and space for your personal activities, families and friends, without this privacy posing a threat to marriage.
4. Send who can, obey who has judgment
For decades now, women no longer have to marry for a simple financial need, and many of us even make more money than our partners. However, even if there is a difference between your economic resources, does that not mean that the one who earns the most can? more in the relationship.
When the earning partner has the most power, the other person will most likely feel hurt and diminished. Therefore, instead of nurturing a relationship based on power struggle and the one with the most money, it is much healthier to establish a relationship based on partnership and cooperation.
Read also: 20 Advice a Divorced Would Like to Receive Before Getting Married
5. You should never sleep in a fight
This advice even has a good intent behind it, as it encourages you to "drop the drops" on the is. before bed to start a new day free of misunderstandings. However, does this often mean that one partner will apologize and the other will pretend to accept them? while, in fact, the problem still exists.
Still, you may need to get up early the next day, and having a DR until dawn may not be the smartest decision, especially when tempers are high.
So it may be more interesting to respect each other's time to process their feelings, wait for the anger to pass, and then have a good conversation to clarify the reason for their disagreement? even if it's the next day.
6. Never bother your partner with things he doesn't like
If something is bothering you, should you talk about it with your partner? even when you know it is a subject that can make you angry or bored. Sweeping the problems down the carpet is a sure way to disaster.
To avoid generating unnecessary conflict, however, is it necessary to choose an appropriate time when you are alone and willing to engage in this matter, and keep the conversation quiet? Screaming and crying won't help much at these times.Try to express the way you feel without making accusations and be open to what your partner has to say.
Read also: 3 reasons why sex is better after marriage
7. Caring for the house and children is more natural for women.
Perhaps in cave times this was true, but it is now quite clear that all the residents of a house should contribute to a clean and organized environment and it is well known that children are not made by one person alone.
We cannot deny that the education received by boys and girls is still very different in these matters, but any adult with full mastery of his brain functions is able to learn to perform new tasks. Therefore, there must be a division in home obligations.
Another situation on the same subject is when the couple is very well resolved about the division of tasks, even if for an outsider the relationship does not seem very egalitarian. If you or your partner has assumed most of the obligations for some reason and you are both comfortable with it, know that you owe no explanation to anyone.
In this case, the rule about who should take care of the house and the children works the same as the others we present: there is no single way to guide a marriage, because each relationship is unique. If there is love, partnership and respect between you, you need not be afraid to break old rules.
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