Wedding is an event that, regardless of the size or style of event, should be unique to the bride and groom. All the details must be chosen with care and affection so that they really have a special meaning for the couple.
Among the many decisions needed for the big day, certainly one of the most difficult and also important and pleasurable tasks is the choice of godparents.
This is because groomsmen are not chosen people - simply to be with the bride and groom at the moment of the ceremony - just to fulfill a tradition; but, yes, they are special people (for the couple) who are given the mission of helping and being close to the couple in the good and bad times that will come with their lives together.
Faced with such a noble function, it is natural that questions arise as to who to choose: "Do I need to invite a relative to be my best man?", "Can I invite only married people?" in life to be my godmother ?? These are just a few.
In this context, the marriage consultant, Estênio Azevedo, clarifies the main doubts related to the choice and all the details involving the groomsmen.
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The choice
The first challenge is really choosing the ones you want to have by your side. Clarify some questions about this moment:
1. Who to call to be godfather?
Do I need to invite my family members to be godparents? Or can I choose only friends? Many people find themselves in this dilemma, but what must prevail is the real will of the couple!
Azevedo remembers that the act of sponsoring means caring, caring, guiding, supporting, and goes far beyond the procession of entrance to the ceremony! Choose to be a sponsor for the person you know you can count on at any time in your life. I often say during the sponsor orientation that the ceremony is the most important moment of the whole event, and that the bride and groom chose them to come in first and show that they support and are part of the birth of that new family?
“The choice of each sponsor and godmother is a 100% emotional issue. Who do you want to see by your side at the most important moment in life? Since parents already have a fixed place at the ceremony, is this a great? to the brothers? comments the marriage counselor.
2. How many sponsors should I choose?
It will all depend on the place of the wedding: whether the ceremony will be at the church or the place where the party will be held, whether the space is large or small etc.
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The expert comments that even though it is a choice in which it is important to hear the emotion (not the reason), it is necessary to think about the logistics of the procession, the ceremonial. “For country weddings, I usually suggest a limit of 4 couples on each side, totaling 10 couples, since we have parents. But when the ceremony takes place in temples (churches, etc.), it is necessary to check the space available for the celebration, but it always costs to choose to have fewer people and ensure a cool look at the altar, without seeming that everyone is tightening up or squeezing? he explains.
3. What to consider when deciding on godparent couples?
Azevedo comments that choosing a groomsman for the wedding is the same as choosing groomsmen for the children. "Look for people who know your story, the story of the couple, who accompanied you at special times and with whom you want to share many other moments of married life," he says.
"If the person you want to invite has a partner, do not feel obligated to invite the couple, do so only if this other person is close to you and you have a good relationship," says the marriage counselor.
4. Do I only need to invite people who are married?
A point that raises many questions is: what to do when you have friendship only with men or women? When you want to invite, for example, a friend to be your godmother, but not necessarily her boyfriend / husband.
And yet: is it? Inelegant? invite a married person to pair with a single person, for example?
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Although not many people recommend that this kind of? Separation from a couple? be done and few people have courage? opting for this for fear of causing unnecessary confusion or upsetting someone, Azevedo advises: • invite only who you want; People with whom you feel comfortable sharing your big day?
• If you want to invite a friend but not the person he or she is dating or married with, just take some care. First, make sure your friend understands your need and willingness, talk openly with him (after all, no one is better off telling you if this will cause "mood" in his relationship than him). Then, to pair up with him, look for someone who is known to everyone, a mutual friend, avoid placing him with an unknown person ?, highlights Azevedo.
• In this case, ask your advisor to invite the spouses of all the sponsors in the official photos and make sure to take a photo with all the couples. In some cases, it is even worth a souvenir to the person as well. The important thing is that no one feels uncomfortable ?, adds the marriage counselor.
5. In the case of Catholic marriage, what are the differences between godparents of civil and religious?
Estênio explains that, for the official marriage of the registry, it is required the presence of two witnesses, who do not have to be a couple, much less being of the opposite sex, only the representation of two people who attest to the truth of that union. "Marriage in the registry office is a contract," he comments.
"In the case of the church, is it always wise to talk to the religious leader or parish office if there are any criteria that need to be followed in peer formation, as certain religions follow certain rules that need to be respected for those who wish to unite under those laws?" , adds the marriage counselor.
The invitation
After selecting the names you want to call, you must make the invitation official. Here's tips and guidance for communicating your wish to your future sponsors:
6. When to invite them?
This is also an important point: how far in advance should the godparents be invited?
“I always advise couples to invite groomsmen at least six months in advance, when possible. Good time to discuss costumes with everyone. And especially because if the? Function? of the sponsors is to support, to be with the couple, why not count on them also during the preparation of the event ?! Preparing an event is not easy? Grooms live by this all the time, so it is often essential to have someone invite them out, dine, laugh, distract, escape some of the madness they are living ?, comments Azevedo.
7. Do you need to invite them formally and with a special gift?
Formally, yes. Make them feel privileged and aware that, among many, you have chosen them ?, says Azevedo.
The gift is a non-obligatory treat. "In particular, do I have fun with the couple's creativity in surprising their groomsmen?" Do I know couples who just assemble a gift and insert the card / invitation inside, even others who prepare a surprise party ?, comments the marriage consultant.
8. What are some examples of reminders that can be given as an invitation to godparents?
"We invite to be godparents people with whom we have ties, so when the gift or reminder refers to the bond of friendship that exists there, everything becomes more exciting," says Azevedo. ? Picture frame, box with sparkling wine, chocolates, mugs, personalized items? Everything is possible, from an email with a cool text, to even putting the invitation on the hamburger packaging (when fast food is a constant presence in encounters with this friend, for example). Seek references, but do something yours; Is your godfather and not the godfather of the other couples we see on the Internet?
9. After giving the groomsmen a special gift / invitation, the grooms also need to send the? Official invitation? for them?
Groomsmen do not need to receive the invitation sent to the guests. Just make sure all of them are well informed about where, when they should arrive and any other appointments and requests that your advisor makes ?, highlights Azevedo.
The costumes
This is often a tricky point during wedding planning, as there are many opinions on the subject. Check out the tips and clarifications from the expert:
10. Whether or not to define godparents' clothing?
This is a fairly common question today. But what are the advantages and disadvantages of standardizing or not standardizing groomsmen attire?
Many people do not standardize because they want to make godparents "more comfortable", not "imposing"? that they wear something that they don't think is cool or over their budget, for example.
Azevedo, however, advises to standardize the groomsmen costume. “I usually say: just don't standardize if it's really something that really, really bothers you; because standardization is essential to maintaining the language and visual identity of your marriage ?, says Azevedo.
When you standardize, at least the colors, no matter how uncomfortable some will understand; After all, the groomsmen are people who already live with you and understand you, right ?, comments the marriage consultant.
Azevedo guides the bridesmaids to define at least the colors or a single color. "Introduce them to the tone options you want, talk about the models you think are cool and don't be embarrassed to ask them to avoid something you don't like, such as necklines, openings in the leg or bare back," he says.
"Godparents, it is interesting to keep everyone in the same costume, makes everything more practical, including you can get a nice discount if you choose to rent all costumes in the same studio, some? Packages?" they even give away the lease of the groom's costume ?, adds Azevedo.
11. If the couple want to define details of the groomsmen's clothes, how to inform them about it?
Discuss and decide these details with your advisor. • Do market research and even try on such costumes at the studio. When it is decided, invite all of your sponsors to a date (pizza, barbecue) and let your advisor present the options they have chosen? Sure he'll know how to convey this to everyone without looking like an imposition? Azevedo comments.
"A tip: If you want to give these groomsmen again on the day of the ceremony, a good choice is groomsmen ties and bridesmaids bracelets," adds the marriage consultant.
12. Is it desirable for the bride to invite her bridesmaids to get dressed with her in her chosen salon?
No, on the contrary. It is preferable that the bridesmaids do not get dressed with the bride, precisely to avoid any delay in the schedule. On the wedding day everyone is sensitive, nervous and any situation can become grandiose and affect the progress of the whole ?, highlights Azevedo.
"When the bride insists on living with her bridesmaids, I look for a place that offers a large number of professionals to meet all in a timely manner, making sure that all the girls arrive early in the salon?" So, do the interaction, take pictures, have fun together? But when the event is three hours away, I take the bride out of their midst and take her to an exclusive room, at most with her mother. Are the last moments of preparation the most delicate ?, comments the marriage consultant.
Another point to consider is that the godmother may have your preferences and not necessarily want to go to the same hairdresser / makeup artist you have chosen; but, yes, going to a salon she already knows and with which she "sympathizes with the price".
The event
Finally, two recurring questions about the groomsmen and the wedding day:
13. At the event itself, is it desirable to reserve tables for the sponsors?
Azevedo explains that it is interesting to reserve tables for the groomsmen, because usually, at the end of the ceremony, they follow with the couple to make photos, comply with some protocols and end up entering the room after the other guests have already entered. “So at least their place is guaranteed. But, I always warn that they have no obligation to sit at that particular table, they can feel free to sit where they want and with whoever they want. Is the party to celebrate?
14. At the wedding, is it necessary to take pictures with each couple of groomsmen separately?
Taking photos with each couple of groomsmen is important as registration, but not required, according to Azevedo. Seek group photo references and give preference to images that record interaction with your friends, record that moment of joy with such special people. Look for photo and video professionals who have a language that pleases you, that record the feelings, the sensations, the emotions and not just the formalities?
Now you know that, despite some practical issues (such as the number of couples), what matters most when choosing groomsmen is the feeling: the friendship, the affection, the affinity you have with certain people and the I wish to have them always around, not only at the ceremony, but throughout your life!
Groomsman Attire - What Groomsmen Should Wear (April 2024)
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