Is it possible to prevent betrayal?

The ghost of betrayal haunts everyone. From the moment bonds and contracts are created? affective between two people, there is the risk of betrayal, and this refers only to what the couple agreed between them, there is no manual, but what each? promised? the other or the expectations that were created.

There is no single kind of betrayal, even if you consider them all terrible. There are the emotional cases, in which the other maintains a feeling of connection with the lover. But most of the betrayals turn out to be those instant calls, inconsequential, unplanned and unbroken.

Balancing these differences is very important for a relationship and for your own emotional well-being. Each person gives a different weight to the question. Some are able to forgive a little slip, and others that end up accepting too much, undermining their self-respect.

Although almost everyone rejects betrayals, an Internet survey indicates that more than half of people admitted to having betrayed and / or been betrayed. This demonstrates that the issue is pertinent in our lives.

The myth that man tends to cheat the most also begins to fall, when the numbers point to a draw these days. Another US survey last year found that women realize when their partner is prone to betrayal. It has also been found that for men, being cheated on with another woman increases the chances of forgiveness and that successful people are more likely to cheat.

Why do people cheat?

Women and men traditionally have different behaviors related to sexuality and fidelity. Historically, men have more sexual freedom and often use the excuse of a biological factor that drives them, while betrayals by women are still extremely badly regarded by society.

There are some factors that can influence betrayal, but surely all of these causes stem from one main one: If you or your partner cheat, surely something is out of place in the relationship. If betrayal exists and one party bothers about it then there is an imbalance. And problems in the relationship should never be considered caused only by the other, but as an obstacle to be resolved by the couple.

Relationship psychologist Pamela Magalhães explains that fidelity must be an individual's choice for his or her life, not necessarily a condition: “In order to be faithful to your partner, first of all, you must be faithful to yourself, your choices, decisions, attitudes, commitments and determinations. When we are aligned with our own principles and true to our life propositions, do we build emotional bonds and more engaged, lasting and promising professional structures?

Among the causes that lead to betrayal are:

• Lack of sex at home.
• Routine and monotonous relationship.
• Too many fights between the couple.
• Need for personal affirmation, vanity or insecurity.
• Revenge, in case you have been betrayed before or believe you have been betrayed.
• Excessive distance, travel, and loneliness can provide openings for bonding with another person.

Can betrayal be prevented?

If we look at the most common causes of betrayal, not forgetting that they will always be the result of relationship dysfunction, all we can do is prevent it. But such prevention is not infallible when we are dealing with the attitudes and feelings of another person outside of us.

Trying best to reduce fights, demands and complaints from both parties will improve the mood of the relationship, thereby diminishing a possible interest in other people. Avoiding a monotonous routine, sexual abstinence, or striving to please your partner and making him feel loved and safe can help to ward off the ghost of betrayal.

Pamela adds that unfortunately we cannot really guarantee that we will not cheat someday. After all, we are moved and intoxicated by desire. What we should always do is cultivate complicity and dialogue with our partner. Thus, relational contracts clearly established and respecting the loyalty of the relationship will hardly trigger traumatic situations, marked by painful betrayals ?.

How to deal with the discovery of a betrayal?

For starters, try to stay calm and analyze the situation. Worrying only about who is to blame will not lead to any resolution. Psychologist Pamela Magalhães suggests that we try to ponder the situation.Possibly the relationship of two presented vulnerabilities so that there was room for betrayal.

How about stopping to really weigh the quality of the relationship? Any love relationship can go through ups and downs, and in low periods a betrayal can happen. This does not necessarily mean that your partner has a bad character or even does not love her. It may simply have been a necessary relational escape for that moment. But will we only know this if we talk to our partner and understand together the reasons and weight of this involvement?

What Can We Learn Through Betrayal? (April 2024)