In love do all paths end up equally? disappointment? The pessimistic phrase, written by the Irish writer Oscar Wilde, perfectly reflects the dynamics of the love relationships. Who has never suffered a disappointment, to throw the first stone.
Why is it so common for people to be disappointed in their relationships? The reasons are numerous, but in general there are two basic reasons: excessive expectation or a very large change in behavior on the part of the partner.
Is disappointment always caused by infidelity?
Not necessarily. Although disappointment and infidelity go hand in hand, it is not necessary for the other party to be unfaithful for us to feel 'deceived'. Often the behavior that causes disappointment hurts us for other reasons. Attitudes such as lack of sensitivity and respect for our wills and goals, and even our feelings, may sound more aggressive to us than would be unfaithful.
Although the betrayal has come to fruition, it is difficult to say that it is solely responsible for the feeling of loving disappointment. In most relationships, the betrayal It happens when the couple has been experiencing a number of other problems for some time. It would then be the pinnacle of a pre-existing failure.
The fact is that there are people who continue to struggle against imminent separation, preferring to endure the pain of betrayal, for example, than admitting that the relationship is over.
The importance of self-esteem
Some claim that we cannot blame our partner for the disappointments suffered. Looking coldly at the question, the statement is not completely misplaced. When the relationship is seen as a lifeline, the tendency is for the person to stop analyzing the situation rationally.
For this not to happen, it is essential to know how to separate things. Respect yourself, above all. Know your limitations and don't try to stretch them just to maintain a relationship that is obviously doomed to failure.
No one changes anybody
Try to see clearly the other person's personality, customs and behavior. Keep in mind that these habits cannot be modified by you. Character and personality traits are built over many years of life, and a relationship (however strong the feelings may be) is not able to change them over and over.
Therefore, when choosing a mate to relate to, look at how he or she reacts to certain situations. If you think one or the other trait seriously displeases you, skip it. Eliminate the possibility of future suffering and wait for the right person to appear.
The surprising truth about rejection | Cam Adair | TEDxFargo (April 2024)
- Relationships
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