How to deal with the pain of losing a child?

Maternal love is the kind of feeling that only understands those who have had their own children. The intensity and extent of this feeling cannot be compared to any other. Therefore, mourning the loss of a child is often much more complex and difficult to overcome.

Even mothers who have not been through this situation are very categorical in stating that there is no greater pain than losing a child. The natural order of things is for parents to leave before their young. This is the normal course of life: do older people die? or should they die? before the younger ones. This is probably what causes so much outrage and misunderstanding when children are taken from their parents' arms, whatever the cause.

But, as is not always the case, it remains to learn to deal with the suffering and pain that comes with this kind of loss.

Psychologist Laissa Muniz of the Center for Reference and Care for Women in Maringá, Paraná, explains that after losing a child, "the best way to face the period of mourning is not to deny the need to cry, feel bad, experience that pain. The time of loss is undoubtedly a time to let yourself be overwhelmed. for the pain felt. It is important that the bereaved stay close to supportive figures, such as family members and professionals, and still find space to talk about their loss. Catharsis through speech, that is, the encounter of a? Friend shoulder? for host, can it be the relief the bereaved needs?

Is there anything to be done to ease the pain?

According to Laissa, each person has a way of looking at the facts, but in order to ease the pain over time, an important step is to face reality with resignation, without running away from the facts.

• Relieving the loss of a child is very relative. Only time can ease the pain of this loss. Ideally, the mourner will find space to talk about the subject in his own time and manner. There is no prescription for alleviating the pain, but surely the denial of that death and the blame for what you could have done to prevent it are factors that intensify the grieving process and make it more painful?

Is it possible to prevent suffering from becoming a depression?

Often the suffering is so intense that it can lead to severe and prolonged emotional problems such as depression. In this sense, the line dividing what is the normal mourning of depressive behavior is rather thin.

Depressed behavior after the loss of a child is acceptable, but there is no clear line between what can be considered a depressive condition and a depressed state. Are those behaviors that affect one's social performance considered at risk? How can we stop going to work, refuse to eat, not leave the room, for example? and extend beyond expectations. Studies show that grief over a sudden death loss lasts about a year, while in cases of expected deaths such as chronic illness, the period of grief can be considerably shorter ?, concludes Laissa.

Grieving Moms Perspective "The personal, physical pain of losing a child" (April 2024)