A couple's divorce is a painful process, full of feelings, worry about the future, hurts and many things to resolve. But in the midst of all this hurricane they still have to deal with the difficult task of tell the children that the marriage is over. And the concern of keeping children together, feeling loved and not causing confusion in the lives of children.
Behavioral child psychologist Jessica Fogaça explains that it is important for parents to talk to the child together, but first they must agree with each other what they will tell their child. This attitude avoids confusion for children. ? Parents should be clear and objective and reassure the child that separation from the couple does not imply separation from? warns the expert.
Try to tell your child what is important and what he will be able to understand, too many details can confuse the little one. The psychologist says that parents should give the child an opening to ask questions and they should answer bluntly. "Give your child room to express his suffering, welcome him, allow him to cry, get angry or sad," he explains.
Oftentimes, after divorce the child may feel abandonedBecause a two parents will not be available all the time. But this feeling must pass over time, especially if parents talk to them and maintain a visiting arrangement. "The child comes to understand that she was not abandoned, only that the parents live in separate houses," explains the psychologist.
The psychologist also indicates that in the beginning the care of the child should be greater, ie, require more attention from parents. • Always be open to talking with your children, emphasize love and good feelings towards him. And for the spouse who lives far away, set aside more time for visits and call throughout the day to talk with the child ?, advises.
In some cases children may become sensitized and the common signs they will present will be: crying, nightmares, excessive parenting, violent behavior, isolation, melancholy, lack of appetite and apathy. If your child exhibits these behaviors, talk to him or her and seek expert help, as he or she is in need.
When love is bad
It is common for the mother or father, when afflicted with grief and pain, to use their children to obtain information from or to attack their former partner, but this attitude only further impairs the child's understanding of divorce. • It should not be involved in the situation of adults, as it is already a great pain for the child to see parents separated. Preserve her feelings? Explains the psychologist.
The expert warns that parents should preserve the well-being of their children and, therefore, try to talk about the feelings and behaviors of the child together, in a single moment. This will surely make the child safer and stronger.
Getting a Divorce with Kids: What Parents Need to Know (April 2024)
- Children and adolescents
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